Sex education never taught young women this important lesson
Plus: 🌍 Communities without men 📰 Lessons in journalism 💪 Stories of resilience
We had our school sex education at 13. The day was split into various sessions where we learnt about safe sex, STDs, contraception and consent.
Even then, there seemed to be a difference in what boys and girls were being prepared for. The boys in my class seemed excited about sex, like pleasure was an inevitability waiting for them. For girls, there was a feeling that sex was something we’d learn to adapt to, maybe eventually enjoy later. Pain was expected. Pleasure wasn’t.
University of Michigan professor Sara McClelland has spent years studying this negotiation. Her research into sexual satisfaction found that young men and women imagined “a very different low end of the sexual satisfaction scale”. Men tended to frame the low point of sexual experience in relatively neutral terms - loneliness, lack of stimulation, an unattractive partner. Women, however, used terms such as “pain”, “degradation”, “emotionally sad”, and “depressed.”
I spoke to Sara, alongside writer and sexologist Suzannah Weiss, to understand where those definitions come from — and why women’s version of “bad” sex can so often include pain rather than just disappointment.
Read the full article below.
Welcome back to Take The Lead, the fortnightly newsletter from The Female Lead.
Here’s a roundup of the articles you loved this month.
After discovering that her great-grandmother had once lived in a women-led community in southern India, journalist Megha Mohan began exploring the hidden history of women-only spaces around the world. From ancient matrilineal societies and medieval beguinages to modern safe havens for mothers, lesbians and girls resisting forced marriage, Herlands examines why women continue to create spaces away from men.
The arrival of The Devil Wears Prada sequel, 20 years after the original, offers a glossy but surprisingly sharp look at how dramatically the magazine industry has changed since the heyday of print publishing. Former Marie Claire editor-in-chief Andrea Thompson, who started her own career in magazines during the era of lavish fashion shoots, expense accounts and pre-social media exclusivity, reflects on what it was really like working in media at the time — and shares the lessons she’s learned from two decades navigating journalism and leadership as a woman in the industry.
When paralympian and broadcaster Stefanie Reid tried to buy a new pair of running trainers, she ran into a frustrating problem familiar to many amputees: she only needed one shoe. After sharing her experience online, her campaign sparked a wider conversation about whether brands are truly designing for inclusion or just marketing it. In her article, Stef explores what genuine inclusivity actually looks like and how small practical changes can have a huge impact on people’s everyday lives.
In her new book The Waiting Room, former Sunday Times editor Audrey Ward explores the unspoken reality of infertility, miscarriage and delayed motherhood through the stories of dozens of women navigating the long, uncertain path to parenthood. Her article reflects on the emotional toll of “waiting” and the many different ways women find meaning, resilience and hope when life doesn’t follow the timeline they imagined.
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