For centuries, women who didn’t fit the mold were branded with a single word: witch. Sometimes they were midwives or herbalists, others just widows who owned homes or spoke too freely.
Fast forward to today and, while the bonfires are gone, echoes of those old accusations still remain. Girls who are “too much”. Women who are “difficult” or “crazy”. Teenagers who are expected to calm down, smile, and fit in without first being given the tools to express themselves.
The truth about witches is far simpler and less frightening than humans believed in the 1600s: tears, anger, and questioning the status quo are not signs of weakness or insanity. They’re part of being human and - crucially - part of how we grow, and connect.
👉 This week we’re discussing the tone-policing and sharing tools for teachers and educators to use in their RSHE (England), RSHP (Scotland), or RSE (Northern Ireland and Wales) lessons, and parents, carers and guardians to use at home to explore this topic. Keep reading...
The quiet policing of women’s feelings
Men and women feel emotions with the same depth, the difference lies in how we’re taught to express them, and how those expressions are received.
Anger as threat
Female anger makes people uncomfortable. When men express rage, it’s seen as power, conviction, or control. When women do the same, it’s labelled hysteria, irrationality, or dangerous. From a young age, girls learn that anger is something to suppress and hide. But it doesn’t disappear - it mutates. It turns inward, becoming tension, self-blame, anxiety.
Tears as translation
When anger can’t be expressed safely, it finds another outlet. For many women, that’s tears. Not because they’re weak or fragile, but because crying is one of the few emotional expressions society permits them. Yet even then, tears are misunderstood and seen as an overreaction, instability, or loss of control. What looks like sadness is often frustration with no language.
Stress as inadequacy
When women show signs of pressure or burnout, it’s read as a lack of resilience. The same behaviour in men is seen as the cost of ambition. Women aren’t less capable - they’re simply judged through a narrower lens of what strength is meant to look like.
Silence as suspicion
Quiet men are called introspective or deep. Quiet women are called cold or moody. Emotional neutrality is a privilege women rarely get. They’re expected to be open but not vulnerable, confident but not angry, calm but not detached.
Adolescence as rehearsal
These lessons start early. As girls move through puberty, they’re flooded with emotion but given few tools to express it. Physical changes collide with social expectations, and without safe spaces or the right language, many learn to internalise rather than articulate. It’s not that young women feel too much - it’s that they’re taught too little about how to feel freely.
This isn’t new. From Salem, to suffragettes, to Sylvia Plath - society has long recast women’s deep feelings as threat. The language might change - witch, hysterical, drama queen - but the intent is the same: to make women doubt and question their own emotions.
We’re on a mission to shift this narrative for the next generation - here’s how you can too.
Resources
For teachers & educators:
This activity invites students to challenge gendered assumptions around emotions and personality traits, supporting more open conversations about confidence, ambition, and emotional expression.
👉 Download our worksheet here:
For parents & guardians:
👉 Conversation starters for long walks, dinner table chats and car journeys:
On feeling all the feels
“Ever had a day when everything just feels… a lot? What helps you get it out - a good cry, a rant, music, something else?”On anger and fairness
“What sort of things make you properly cross? Do you feel like people listen when you’re angry, or tell you to calm down?”On school and pressure “Does school ever feel a bit heavy - homework, friends, all of it? How do you notice when you’re stressed?”
On labels that stick “Have you seen someone at school or online called dramatic, crazy or attention-seeking? What do you think was really going on?”
On role models
“Is there anyone you look up to - maybe a musician, activist, even someone at school - who talks honestly about mental health or big feelings?”
From women accused of witchcraft to artists and activists labelled ‘mad, sad, or bad’ - the real through line isn’t danger, it’s misunderstanding.
By giving future generations language for their feelings, and the space to use it, we’re helping break an ancient spell, so strong emotions can become what they always were: a source of power, creativity, and change.
RISE at LeadHERship Day with Laura Bates
Holly, Head of Data and Education at The Female Lead:
Recently, I had the privilege of spending the day at Leighton Park School for their LeadHERship Conference hosted for girls from six of Reading Borough’s secondary schools. Alongside the incredible author and activist Laura Bates, we delivered sessions as part of The Female Lead RISE Programme and I was reminded why this work matters so deeply. Across multiple key stages, students explored data, research, confidence-building, and practical tools to shape their futures. The students were full of curiosity, energy, and ambition.
This is exactly what The Female Lead aims to do: empower young women to dream bigger, plan smarter, and step boldly into their futures. Days like this reaffirm why giving students the space, tools, and inspiration to lead is so vital.
If you’re a teacher or school leader and want to bring something like this to your students, we’d love to connect and explore how we can inspire your students to RISE.
Great post and great work influencing young women.
Double standards everywhere need to be challenged.
LOVE THIS - Thank you for writing