Nice girls finish exhausted
Plus: 💸 money survey 💪 Sydney Sweeney 📱 phones and fertility
Does your face ache from smiling?
Do you spend too much time apologising for yourself, or writing and re-writing emails to not appear “too much“ or too demanding?
You’re not alone. New research shows that in workplace meetings and WhatsApp groups, women are shape-shifting, toning themselves down, and smiling more - all to appear “likeable”. And it’s exhausting.
Find out more in our lead article below.
In this edition of Take The Lead, the newsletter from The Female Lead, we also need your help to close the money gap that starts in childhood with pocket money, and extends into our pension years, leaving women with less money and less financial knowledge than men.
Please take our money survey to help us learn what women really want and need when it comes to money.
We’re also sharing stories from our second book, The Female Lead (Vol II): We Rise By Lifting Others.
It’s a collection of interviews with 67 inspiring female role models, from Little Mix singer Jade Thirlwall, who told us she didn’t feel “White enough, Black enough or Arab enough” growing up, to Kathrine Switzer, who made history as the first woman to officially run the Boston marathon - despite an attempt to drag her off the course.
Visible role models, and sharing their vital stories, has never been more important or urgent. Buy the book to support our work in schools.
Thank you for your support.
The Female Lead Team
We’re talking about…
🧠 43% of menopausal and post-menopausal women say they feel younger than their age. A new study finds nearly half feel more youthful than they expected — thanks to a positive mindset and a renewed connection to their bodies.
🕵️♀️ For the first time in 116 years, MI6 will be led by a woman. Blaise Metreweli is set to become the first female head of the UK’s foreign intelligence service this autumn. She’s currently the agency’s head of tech, known as “Q”. Yes, like in James Bond.
📱 Could smartphones be behind the global fertility drop? Social scientist Alice Evans suggests the rise in screen time may be replacing real-world connection - leaving us lonelier, less likely to form relationships, and ultimately less likely to have children.
💪 Around 1 in 2 women in the UK will experience pelvic floor dysfunction - and that rises to 63% for those doing high-intensity exercise. But the good news? It’s often preventable with regular exercises and small lifestyle tweaks.
Inspire me…
“I think that one day I will be able to have control of the narrative of my body. I’ll take the power.”
Sydney Sweeney reflecting on the double standards she’s faced, especially after being typecast after her role in Euphoria.
The exhaustion of being ‘likeable’ falls mainly on women
Smiling when you don’t want to. Apologising for nothing. Softening your opinion to avoid seeming “difficult”.
If you’re a woman, chances are you’ve done at least one of those things this week.
According to new research, 50% of women admit they withhold their opinions to be liked, and 43% downplay their achievements to avoid alienating others. Around a third smile more, even when they don’t feel like it, just to seem “nice”.
And overall, 56% feel pressure to be “likeable” compared to just 36% of men.
Read more in the full article here
Toolbox: leadership in messy moments
From Paula Mullin, Acting CEO of Midlands Engine
🤔 Why: Some of the most defining moments in my career have come during times of upheaval — most recently, the closure of an organisation I helped build. They have often made me responsible for helping others navigate what comes next. How we lead in those moments matters. When you’re in it, it often just feels like firefighting. But looking back, I can see that every messy moment left me stronger, clearer and a little braver.
🔧 How: Leadership in moments of change isn’t about having all the answers — it’s about creating the conditions for people to keep going, even when things are tough.
Hold space — but don’t get stuck
It’s okay to acknowledge what’s difficult. But don’t stop there. Ask, “What do we need to do today to take a step forward?”Be clear, not perfect
Say what you know. Say what you don’t. Be straight with people. And listen — properly.Go back to your ‘why’
When the ground keeps shifting, your values don’t have to. What do you stand for? That’s what helps you make good decisions when there are no easy ones.Shrink the frame
Sometimes the big picture is just too big. Narrow it down. Focus on the next week. Or the next useful conversation.Look after yourself, too
This has been the hardest lesson for me to learn. You can’t lead well if you’re running on empty.
Final thought
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