Millennials are entering perimenopause, and they are seriously anxious about it

Information is power, but it can also prompt fear when media coverage can be "very negative".

By Emma Thomas, coach and founder of Managing the Menopause

It feels like we can’t move for celebrities talking about their experiences of perimenopause – from Naomi Watts and Drew Barrymore in the US to Davina McCall in the UK.

It’s because Gen Xers like me (those aged 45-60) are the first generation who refused to just ‘suck it up’ and not talk about menopause, like our mothers were expected to. Over the past five years, many of us have been at the forefront of tilting the taboos around menopause. We have embraced the opportunities presented by social media and podcasting to share our experiences and in so doing, feel less alone.

Now, millennials (those aged between 29 and 44) are starting to enter perimenopause territory. The term ‘Millenopause’ describes this and was first used on X in 2020 according to Wiktionary, then written about in this article in 2022.

You’d think that the increased openness and information-sharing of the generation before them would mean millennials have a more happy experience of perimenopause. But one side-effect of all the public discussion is increased anxiety about exactly what they have coming.

More than 40% of millennials are anxious about their impending menopause and another 40% feel unprepared, according to a survey of 200 millennials published by Wrapp Consulting last year. A quarter felt that media and online representations of perimenopause were very negative.

It’s not surprising. Torrid tales of devastating menopause symptoms get clicks and eyeballs. As a result, the narrative can get skewed to the negative - which means that in addition to being socially conditioned to fear aging, we are now worrying about being sideswiped by debilitating symptoms too. Sometimes balance and nuance is lacking, particularly on social media platforms. After all, companies have supplements to sell and workouts to promote (Jennifer Aniston-backed Pvolve being the latest to hit the headlines).

But that isn’t the whole picture. We don’t hear much about individuals who go through this perfectly normal life transition without a backwards glance, or even with a cheer as they dump their no-longer-needed period protection in the bin.

In reality, only one in four of us will really struggle with symptoms that are disruptive and difficult, but one in four will also sail through this life transition with very little trouble. The rest of us will sit somewhere in the middle.

The annoying thing is that we don’t really know WHY some of us are more impacted than others, and whilst more research into menopause and treatments is underway, it has historically been a chronically underfunded area of research.

So what can we do to gain a bit of perspective?

There are still misperceptions out there about being ‘too young’ to be in perimenopause, but bear in mind that somewhere between 5-10% will reach menopause between the ages of 40 and 45.

It’s perfectly possible to be experiencing symptoms from mid-thirties onwards, which is why a little preparation goes a long way in helping you ‘join the dots’ instead of wondering what the heck is going on, why your keys are in the fridge again and why you lost your temper over something totally trivial.

Here are my tips to be ‘prepared, not scared’:

1. Step away from your phone and the overwhelm

Pick up one of the excellent books that have been published over the last five years by experts in the field - here are some of my favourites:

• Making Menopause Matter by Diane Danzebrink

• The Complete Guide to the Menopause by Dr Annice Mukherjee

• The Menopause Brain by Dr Lisa Mosconi

• Second Spring by Kate Codrington

• What Fresh Hell is This? By Heather Corinna

2. Know yourself

One of the earliest indicators of going into perimenopause is changes in your cycle. Periods may get heavier or lighter, closer together or further apart – data on what symptoms you are experiencing is also helpful to track if you want to discuss with your healthcare provider. These might include anxiety, low mood, difficulty sleeping, mood swings, and dry skin and eyes. You can download a free symptom checklist from our website.

3. Seek out reliable sources online

Be selective in terms of social media, although there are brilliant health educators on Instagram like Dr Nighat Arif (@drnighatarif) and Dr Annice Mukherjee (@the.hormone.doc). Check out our list of excellent, reliable, and free resources.

4. Lift weights

As our estrogen drops away, the impact on loss of muscle mass and bone health starts to accelerate – one in two women over 50 will break a bone due to low bone mineral density. It’s never too early to start prioritising strength and resistance training. It has also been shown to have benefits for brain health, mood, and metabolic health. Just don’t jump straight into trying to bench press your own bodyweight – slow and steady is the name of the game. Check out the phenomenal @trainwithjoan on Instagram – she started lifting weights in her 70s.

5. Share the load

Whether it’s your partner or your best friends, or both, don’t keep it to yourself if you’re struggling, or anxious. Opening up to our friends is often the catalyst for others to feel emboldened to share what they are going through. Look out for a ‘menopause cafe’ in your local area, or perhaps there’s a special interest group in your workplace.

6. Build your stress busting toolkit

Stressful lives exacerbate many menopause symptoms from sleep to gut issues, so figure out what’s in your stress mitigation toolkit, and use it. Is it time in nature? Creative outlets? Social media detox? Now more than ever you need to be putting yourself at the top of the priority pile. Don’t wait until you burn out.

7. Re-frame it

Menopause used to be spoken about in hushed tones as ‘The Change’ – but many of us now are realising that, far from being something to be feared and endured, this time of transition can be transformational. Look beyond some of the attention-grabbing headlines and you will see thousands of post-menopausal women embracing their Second Spring in a thousand different ways. We are not going quietly, we’re just getting going…

As anthropologist Margaret Mead has said: “there is no greater power in the world than the zest of a post-menopausal woman.” Perimenopause can be a time of figuring out our values, our needs, and, sometimes, a new direction.

After all, most of us will be spending half our adult lives in this post-menopause phase - let’s make it some of the best years of our lives.

Emma Thomas is the host of the Middling Along podcast and an executive coach. Her company Managing the Menopause provides training and education around the menopause transition.