Pints, ponytails and the new Dad Code
Dads are learning to style their daughters' hair and it's opening up bigger conversations about parenting and identity.
Like many new parents, Lawrence Price and Mat Carter anticipated sleepless nights and logistical chaos when they became fathers. What they did not expect was the emotional and psychological shift that came with it.
Mat experienced postnatal depression during the first year of fatherhood - something he did not even know fathers could experience until later. Around the same time, Lawrence began dealing with severe anxiety for the first time in his life. Years later, when the two compared notes on those early months, they realised something surprising: neither of them had been remotely prepared for what becoming a parent would do to them.
That conversation became the starting point for Secret Life of Dads, a podcast and community project that explores modern fatherhood with curiosity rather than certainty.
“We realised there was very little information or guidance out there to guide dads through this challenging but amazing journey,” Lawrence says. “So we decided to dive into it ourselves.”
What followed was not a neat parenting guide, but a series of conversations. Through interviews with experts, Lawrence and Mat began exploring the science, psychology and social realities of fatherhood - covering everything from neuroscience and evolutionary anthropology to mental health and identity.
Along the way, they discovered something men are rarely told: becoming a father can involve real biological and emotional shifts.
“Dads also go through a number of changes,” Lawrence explains. “There are shifts in identity, social isolation and modern economic pressures that fundamentally change who we are.”
In the early days, Lawrence and Mat were not entirely sure what the podcast would become. Parenting is a vast topic, and at first they were simply trying to figure it out themselves. Slowly, though, a rhythm emerged. Conversations about parental mental health sat alongside discussions of psychology, science and relationships.
“Most of our early growth was actually from mums,” Lawrence says. “They were incredible at validating the mission and sharing the podcast with the men in their lives.”
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At one stage, roughly 75% of listeners were women sending episodes to partners, brothers and friends. Only more recently has the audience shifted towards an even split between men and women.
That dynamic reflects a core belief behind the project: fatherhood conversations are not just for fathers.
“This is a podcast about dads, but for all parents,” Lawrence says. “The strongest relationships are built from understanding each other with compassion and communicating in a healthy, emotionally mature way.”
In other words, understanding dads better is good for everyone.
One of the biggest lessons Lawrence and Mat discovered during the process was that parenting is less about controlling children than about managing yourself.
“It sounds naive looking back,” Lawrence admits, “but we did not realise quite how much parenting would invite us to do the inner work.”
The unpredictable nature of raising children - the emotional swings, the lack of control, the constant learning - forced them to reflect on their own reactions, habits and expectations.
Two years into the project, both say they are different men from the ones who started.
“Yes, it is a public podcast,” Lawrence says. “But most of all it is a very personal journey of growth and self exploration for us.”
The project has also expanded beyond the podcast studio. Today, Secret Life of Dads exists in several different forms.
There is the podcast itself, where guests reflect on everything from their relationships with their own fathers to the experiences that have shaped the kind of parents they have become. Alongside that are street interviews - short conversations with members of the public that get straight to the heart of questions around parenting, identity and modern life.
Then there are the in-person gatherings. One of the most popular, particularly on social media, is the community event Pints and Ponytails.
The activity, in collaboration with Braid Maidens, is for dads to come together to learn how to style their daughters’ hair but what unfolds is something much bigger than that.
What followed, Lawrence says, was one of the most special evenings they have been part of. Fathers compared braiding attempts, helped one another figure out techniques and, perhaps most importantly, spent time talking and connecting in a space that rarely exists for men.
The first meet up was in February 2026 with 10 dads. By the next event, 35 fathers walked through the door.
“It is about honouring our daughters and connecting dads,” Lawrence explains. “But it is also about redefining the role of the modern dad and breaking outdated stereotypes.”
The gatherings create a space where vulnerability and parenting struggles are normal topics of conversation. There is a growing recognition that men often lack these kinds of supportive environments while mothers’ networks are more visible and socially accepted.
And the online response has been incredible:
Projects like Secret Life of Dads are an invitation for men to talk, learn and grow together.
“We see community as being the bedrock of this modern dad’s movement - getting curious dads, who are willing to grow together, in the same room and seeing the enthusiasm and openness to connect has been humbling.”
Lawrence says success isn’t measured in downloads or event attendance.
“We often say it is impossible for us to fail on this project,” he says.
“Success is being able to take what we have learnt home and deepen our relationships,” he says. “If we can show up as better dads for our children, that already feels like a huge win.”
