Gisèle Pelicot’s story horrified and inspired millions of women around the world when she waived her right to anonymity as the victim in the French rape case in 2024. Between 2011 and 2020, Gisèle had been drugged and raped by her husband Dominique Pelicot and dozens of other men while she was unconscious.

Now, she is telling her story and The Female Lead attended the UK launch of her book, A Hymn to Life, to hear from Gisèle in her own words.

The evening started with readings from the book from actresses Juliet Stevenson, Dame Kristin Scott Thomas and Kate Winslet. The audience listened in rapt silence until Kate Winslet read aloud, “Everyone needs to see the faces of the 51 rapists; they should be the ones to hang their heads in shame, not me”, which was met with a huge round of applause, the first of many moments from Gisèle that would move the audience.

It must take immense courage from Gisèle to sit and hear her trauma relived outloud for hundreds of audience members. She is very open about the fact that she hasn’t traditionally viewed herself as a feminist figure, discussing how she was happy with her husband and content with their traditional life.

When speaking about her ex-husband, Gisèle is calm and collected, referring to him always as ‘Monsieur Pelicot’, which might even seem confusing for a listener, but also speaks to her resolve that she will not let him or rage be her definer.

When he was arrested for upskirting in 2020, Gisèle initially apologised for her husband’s behaviour, embarrassed that he could do something so awful. “There was this A side to him: a benevolent, good-intentioned man with friends who admired him. And this second side B: that was the worst side of human nature. This is exactly what came out. I tried to bring him into the light, but he had this dark side,” Gisèle says.

She used the event at the Southbank Centre in London as a chance to platform and educate about the dangers of chemical submission, speaking about when she repeatedly went to the doctors knowing something wasn’t right, they said she may have early signs of Alzheimer’s, or have had a stroke.

“I hope now there’s more awareness and more knowledge about chemical submission because this is a tool of violence, and we need to make this clear,” she says.

Gisèle emphasised that this issue, and violence against women and girls, is not confined to France. The problem is universal. Young people, she warned, must be cautious online. Society, she argued, remains in denial.

“We are in a patriarchal society. We need to change this. Young generations will help to change this mindset,” Gisèle says.

Violence against women and girls (VAWG), she insisted, is not political, saying, “Some people may think it is depressing. But it is not political. It is important to talk about violence.”

Even with evidence, the courtroom experience was brutal. “The victim is considered guilty, and the defendant wants to be victimised,” she explains. The presumption of innocence persisted, despite proof. She describes photographs of her abuse being referred to as “sex scenes” rather than rape scenes, and how this was something that made her incredibly angry.

Gossip around her family has been rife in the media, and Gisèle used the evening as an opportunity to speak out on it in her own way.

“All of this was very, very painful for my children. This trauma didn’t bring us together. It’s not true that trauma always brings a family together. It really pushed us apart. We are trying to get our family back together. I spent time with my grandson yesterday. We are speaking now a lot. I spoke to my daughter before I came here. She gave me encouragement. So it’s great that we are coming back together. I’m so proud of her because she has created her own association now to support victims of chemical submission. I’m proud of this,” Gisèle says.

Despite the trauma she’s endured, Gisèle wanted to impress that she’s living a happy life, on her terms. She’d repaired a friendship with an old friend that had crumbled due to her ex-husband’s behaviour. She discussed meeting the security guard who had originally caught her ex-husband upskirting, and told him how his actions had saved her life. And she’s found love again. “I did not imagine falling in love or even, like, wanting to fall in love because, you know, when you go through what I’ve been through, I thought my life as a woman was over,” she says.

In a lighter tone, Gisèle laughed about how she binge-watched The Queen’s Gambit. “I really managed to sort of go back to my life as a young woman, if you like, living alone, and I could watch this series. It was a kind of freedom for me. I think I stayed up until five o’clock in the morning watching,” she says.

Gisèle chooses to live her life without regrets, which, like many statements said in the evening, led to thunderous applause. “I think it’s very important not to have any regrets, life is like this. I just think that today, I’m very lucky to be with you today, and he has been sent to jail. That’s my positive side.”

She wrapped up the event, speaking about what she wants next for her life:

“I am now 73. I hope I can continue my life serenely, quietly. I’ll be here to always listen to women who need support. I’ll always be here.”

What followed was a standing ovation that lasted three minutes, and likely would have lasted ten more had Gisele not left the stage, waving and blowing kisses to her audience.

A Hymn to Life is out now.

Some resources for survivors of violence:

Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 500 2222

USA National Sexual Resource Violence Resource Center: TOLL-FREE 877-739-3895

International support resources: takebackthenight.org

By Alison Edgar, author and business speaker

Imposter syndrome probably isn’t a new concept for you. In fact, according to a global study by the American Psychological Association, 75% of women in leadership positions have experienced imposter syndrome at some point in their careers.

If you’re unfamiliar with the term, the official definition is ‘the persistent feeling of being a fraud, doubting your accomplishments and fearing being exposed as incompetent, despite clear evidence of success’.

This shows up at work in lots of subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways. It can look like:

• Over-preparing for meetings that you’re more than qualified to lead

• Downplaying your achievements with “I just got lucky” or “it was a team effort”

• Second-guessing decisions after the fact, even when the outcome was positive

• Feeling the need to prove yourself again every time you step into a new room, role, or level

If any of this sounds familiar, you’ve probably encountered imposter syndrome at some point in your career.

So how can you make sure you leave it firmly in the dust? Here are three ways to ditch imposter syndrome for good…

Escaping your comfort zone

Our comfort zone can start to feel like a prison, but there’s a reason we stay there. Understanding it helps explain why imposter syndrome exists in the first place.

Comfort zones aren’t about a lack of ambition or confidence. They exist because the brain is designed to keep us safe, not to help us push forward. For women in leadership roles, where scrutiny can feel higher and mistakes less easily forgiven, familiarity can feel like protection.

Even situations that aren’t particularly fulfilling can start to feel “comfortable” if they’re predictable, and that’s why women stay in roles they’ve outgrown, hesitate to speak up in the room, or soften their voice to avoid being judged. Not because they’re incapable, but because the outcome feels known and therefore, to our brain, less risky.

The most important thing to remember is that this reaction is really normal. Your brain and body aren’t trying to sabotage you, they’re doing exactly what they were designed to do. They’re responding to uncertainty by looking for safety.

When you recognise that, imposter syndrome starts to lose its power. Instead of seeing discomfort as a warning sign, you can see it for what it really is: a signal that you’re developing yourself and moving forward.

Build a proof file - and don’t be afraid to ask for help

Imposter syndrome has a habit of rewriting your history. When doubt creeps in, it conveniently blocks out every success, piece of positive feedback, and difficult situation you’ve handled well.

A simple way to counteract this is to build a “proof file”. This doesn’t have to be anything too comprehensive; it can just be a notes app, a folder in your inbox, or a notebook, anywhere you can keep evidence of your capability. Save positive feedback, kind messages, outcomes you’re proud of, and moments where you stepped up, even if they felt a little out of that comfort zone at the time.

Related articles

If this feels awkward or difficult to do on your own, you don’t have to. Ask trusted colleagues, mentors, or friends to help you build it. A quick question like, “What do you think I do well?” or “When have you seen me handle something particularly well?” can give you a perspective you don’t always have on yourself.

I know this can feel a little icky at first, especially as women, because research shows we tend to underestimate our own abilities, even when the evidence says otherwise. But speaking from experience, this can really help to garner the confidence you need when stepping into the unknown.

Disrupt your thought pattern

One of the reasons imposter syndrome is so persistent is that it operates below the surface. People are like icebergs, we only ever see the tip, there’s a whole lot going on underneath. Imposter syndrome rarely announces itself as fear or insecurity. More often, it begins as a thought which is subtle, reasonable-sounding, and easy to believe.

A passing assumption like, “I should know this by now” or “Others are more qualified than I am” can quickly influence how we feel: a tightening in the chest, a sense of hesitation, a moment of doubt. Those feelings then shape behaviour. We hold back, can soften our language, or decide not to speak up at all.

What’s important to recognise is that this doesn’t reflect reality; it reflects perception and interpretation. The situation hasn’t changed, only the story we’ve told ourselves about it.

Crucially, behaviour doesn’t have to wait for confidence. When women continue to act despite uncertainty — by contributing to the discussion, making the decision, or staying visible — the internal response often follows. The brain updates its understanding of what is safe and familiar, and the emotional charge associated with it reduces over time.

This is why imposter syndrome isn’t best understood as a lack of confidence, but as a learned pattern of thinking and responding. And like any pattern, once it’s made visible, it can be interrupted and reshaped.

So, I challenge you today to recognise the thought pattern, and disrupt it with something different:

Rather than “If I don’t have the answer immediately, I’ll lose credibility,” think “Credibility comes from sound judgement, not knowing everything.”

Rather than “I can’t let people see uncertainty,” think “It’s possible to be decisive and still learning.”

Share

Rather than “If I ask a question, it’ll expose a gap,” think “Asking questions is part of leading well.”

Rather than “One wrong decision will define me,” think “Leadership is built over time.”

Rather than “Everyone else seems more confident than I am,” think “Confidence looks different on different people. We are all icebergs.”

Imposter syndrome doesn’t disappear overnight, and it certainly doesn’t vanish just because you reach a certain level in your career. What does change, though, is how much power you give it.

When you understand why your brain reacts the way it does, when you have evidence to ground yourself, and when you learn to notice and challenge the thoughts that quietly shape your behaviour, imposter syndrome stops being something that controls you in the background. It becomes something you recognise and manage.

Discomfort is NOT a sign you don’t belong. More often than not, it’s a sign you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.

Dr Alison Edgar MBE - Business speaker, author, and thought leader www.alisonedgar.com

By Helen Russell, author. Photo credit: Simon Meyer.

After more than a decade living among Danes and a career spent rummaging around the happiness habits of the world’s most contented nations, I have come to a conclusion: we could all do with being more Viking. Not in the sense of pillaging the local garden centre or taking up axe-throwing in the Aldi, but in quieter, more subversive ways - practised daily across Scandinavia.

When the 2025 World Happiness Report rolled in, the number one happiest country spot went, again, to Finland, with Nordic neighbours Denmark, Iceland and Sweden making up the top four alongside it. This cold corner of the world continues to outperform richer, bigger regions in life satisfaction, social trust and a sense that life feels worth living.

The Nordic countries aren’t perfect, but they are instructive. They offer a set of principles that gently nudge women away from burnout, martyrdom and the belief that we must do everything beautifully and alone. Since moving back to the UK and writing about midlife overwhelm for my new novel, Laura Clark Is Away from Her Desk, I’ve had the benefit of perspective on both the UK and the Nordic approach to life. So here are seven Viking inspired ideas for every woman worth stealing.

We Are Not Meant to Do It All

In Denmark, nobody expects one person to be chief breadwinner, primary carer, emotional linchpin and household logistics manager simultaneously. The system is built on shared responsibility and - crucially - shared expectations. When women stop trying to be heroic soloists and start demanding a choir, happiness improves. Viking women knew that survival depended on the group. Martyrdom is not a virtue, it’s a liability.

Our Work Does Not Define Our Worth

Nordic cultures are suspicious of people who define themselves entirely by their jobs. Work matters, but it is not The Point of Life. This is deeply liberating for women who have been sold the idea that success must look like constant productivity, visible achievement and polite exhaustion. Being more Viking means caring about your work while refusing to let it swallow your identity whole.

Rest Is Not a Reward

In the happiest countries, rest is not something you earn after collapse. It is built into the rhythm of life. Evenings are protected, holidays are sacred, and nobody applauds you for replying to emails at midnight. Viking women understood seasons. There was a time to sow, a time to reap and a time to sit by the fire. These winter months are prime ‘sit by the fire time’. If not full-blown grizzly-bear hibernation. Winter exists for a reason.

Equality Is Practical, Not Theoretical

Nordic societies consistently score among the most gender-equal in the world. Iceland has led various global gender equality rankings for over a decade, and the Nordic region generally demonstrates high female labour participation rates and comparatively narrow employment gaps between men and women. Equality doesn’t mean the work is done - pay gaps and uneven representation still persist. But it does create a social fabric in which women’s contributions are expected, respected and structurally supported. Affordable childcare, parental leave for fathers, flexible work and social trust create a culture where equality is not an aspiration but an operating manual. When women are supported structurally, they do not have to negotiate every domestic task as if it were a United Nations summit. Living Danishly, my parent friends and I didn’t face a myriad of energy-depleting decisions on a daily basis – there were fewer choices, all of them decent. And it was liberating. Excess choice doth not a happy ‘me’ make. Being more Viking means asking for better systems - not just the ‘freedom’ to take on the arduous admin of researching, testing and implementing better individual coping strategies.

Related articles

Comparison Is the Enemy of Contentment

The Nordic social code quietly discourages showing off. The goal is not to dazzle others into snowblindness or shout louder than everyone else in the room. This has its drawbacks, but it also reduces the endless comparison that makes modern life so corrosive for many of us. Happiness grows when we stop measuring ourselves against curated lives and start asking whether our own life feels liveable. Viking women were too busy surviving winters to compete over collagen.

Community Is a Survival Skill

Loneliness is a known happiness killer, so the Nordics take community seriously. From shared childcare to communal singing to the simple habit of checking in on neighbours, connection is treated as essential infrastructure. Women thrive when they are embedded in networks of support, not isolated behind closed doors with a to do list and a sense of failure. Vikings knew you needed your people to get through the dark months (from October to March in the Nordics). It may be less Baltic where I live now back in the UK - but I still need a crew to get by.

Good Enough Is Plenty

Perhaps the most radical Nordic idea of all is that life does not need to be optimised to be enjoyable. Homes are cosy rather than perfect. Meals are simple. Parenting is pragmatic. There is permission to be ordinary. For women raised on the promise that we can and should have it all, the idea of choosing ‘enough’ instead is, well, quietly revolutionary. Being more Viking means trusting that a good life does not require constant self-improvement.

The lessons from the world’s happiest countries are not that we should all move north, grow stoic and knit socks. It’s that happiness is often found not in striving harder, but in arranging life more kindly. Viking women are not superheroes. They are practical, resilient and deeply aware that joy, like warmth, is something you build together.

Helen Russell is the author of The Year of Living Danishly and writes Living Danishly with Helen Russell on Substack. Her latest book is How to Raise a Viking. And her new novel, Laura Clark Is Away from Her Desk, is available to preorder now.

Share

With her quick wit, emotional intelligence and trademark fringe, Claudia Winkleman has cemented herself as one of Britain’s most trusted, comforting and hilarious voices.

Having fronted three of the biggest UK primetime TV shows – Traitors, Strictly and The Piano – as well as her own radio show and podcast, Claudia is set to host her own chat show on BBC One and iPlayer in spring 2026. But she’s not only given us hours of entertainment but some crucial life lessons over the years too.

Here are just six of the best…

Dress to please yourself

Becoming a fashion influencer wasn’t on Claudia’s vision board but she’s now a much loved style icon famous for her Traitors look in particular. Donning capes, a splash of tartan, and comfy boots for the bracing Scottish highlands, Claudia has created a look of her own - albeit with her fantastic stylist Sinead McKeefry - dressing for comfort, warmth and individuality over trends. “I don’t understand what happened. I’m a 52-year-old woman who happens to like a fingerless glove. I’m a tiny orange lady, and my fringe is too long,” she said last year of her style icon status. Claudia had previously described her look as “a male mature French student, let’s call him Jean.” Claudia’s freedom with fashion inspires us to dress for ourselves in spite of, not because, what the catwalks and red carpets show us. Vive la révolution.

Leave your job before you’re ready to

Claudia and Strictly co-host Tess Daly shocked us all when they quit the show last year. But Claudia said, “I’ve always believed it’s best to leave a party before you’re fully ready to go.” A great example of not playing it safe and leaving a job before the sparkle begins to dim. Claudia’s taught us all to step out of your comfort zone and challenge ourselves to move on in our careers, even when we don’t feel completely ready to.

Stay unapologetically authentic

Forget the old adage ‘new year, new you’. Claudia has spent decades on our screens without reinventing herself to stay relevant. The glossy black fringe, obsession with fake tan and verging on OTT heavily lined eyes have made Claudia one of the most distinctive faces we know and love. She’s certainly never tried to tone herself down to fit a glossy mould. Instead, she became more herself, doubling down on the style she loves, TV shows she believes in and a work/life balance that rarely sees her at a red carpet event. Claudia’s steadfastness to her true self somehow makes it even more powerful. And that fringe isn’t going anywhere! “You may loathe my fringe, but, and I’m being perfectly serious here, it’s given me a career,” she wrote in her 2020 memoir, Quite.

Imposter syndrome is normal - but comparison is a miserable hobby

Claudia has talked openly about anxiety, fear and vulnerability but doesn’t dwell on the negative. “I love a bit of imposter syndrome. I think it’s super healthy,” she said. “I’ve met people who don’t have it – they’re awful. I think it’s okay to think, “How have I got here?”, “When are they going to find out?”, and “I’m really not that good!”. And I want to instil that in my kids, too. Entitlement is not fine.” Claudia normalises self doubt while encouraging us not to overthink it, and certainly doesn’t play the comparison game. “Comparing and contrasting yourself with others is just a very bad idea,” she’s said, advising us all to stop ruminating over others who we might think are prettier, smarter or funnier than you. Instead, simply “wish them well” and focus on your own strengths and joy. Sage advice.

Prioritise your female friendships

Very much a girls girl, Claudia and Strictly co-presenter Tess Daly made history as primetime TV’s first female presenting duo. And Claudia makes her female friends central to her life. “I don’t minimise my achievements when it comes to friendships. I’m proud of those, I’ve got the best group of girls.” While romantic relationships are so often celebrated in society, Claudia reminds us to centre our girlfriends and mark the special moments that define our friendships.

Feminism is for everyone

Unsurprising with staunch feminist and trailblazing editor Eve Pollard as her mother, Claudia is all for feminism. “I married a feminist,” she says of husband of 25 years, Kris Thykier. And it’s something she’s instilled in her three children - two sons, Jake and Arthur, and daughter, Matilda. “I asked my son before I left tonight, ‘Would you describe yourself as a feminist?” and he said, “Hell yes!”, she’s previously revealed. “We’re on the road to equality but more needs to be done.” Amen to that.

If there’s one new year’s resolution to take into 2026, it’s to be more Claudia. Or rather, be more yourself.

We all spend too much time scrolling on our phones - often without thinking about what we’re absorbing while we put our thumbs to use. And, while social media can be a whirlwind of funny memes and group DMs, it can also quietly chip away at our sense of self worth. The posts we see day after day shape our mood, motivation and self esteem far more than we would like to admit.

Which is why curating your feed intentionally matters. In 2018, The Female Lead’s Disrupt Your Feed research with psychologist Dr Terri Apter showed just how strongly the content young women consume can shape their confidence, aspirations and mental health. It proved what many of us already sensed: if the digital world is a place we spend a lot of time, we should make sure it’s filled with voices that lift us up - not wear us down. Creators who feel real, honest and human. People who remind us that growth isn’t linear, bodies aren’t flawless, and you don’t need to have it all together.

In October 2025, we spotlighted a new wave of feed disruptors - women using their platforms to bring truth, compassion and courage into the online space. Now,we’re celebrating even more incredible women who embody the full spectrum of being human: humour, vulnerability, messiness, joy and everything in between. Together, they remind us that social media isn’t just a highlight reel - it can be a tool for confidence, connection and community.

Meet the women being added to our list of DYF Creator Role Models and all deserve a permanent place on your follower list in 2026…

Grace Campbell:

Comedian, filmmaker and writer, Grace uses humour to tackle the messy realities of life. Her Instagram skits offer guaranteed laughs and a reminder not to take ourselves too seriously while still embracing emotional honesty.

Instagram: @disgracecampbell
TikTok: @disgracecampbell

Nelly London:

A leading voice in the body-positivity space, Nelly uses her platform to challenge beauty standards and celebrate bodies exactly as they are. Her warm, inclusive content has helped countless followers feel more at home in themselves.

Instagram: @_nelly_london
TikTok: @_nelly_london

Hannah Witton:

Once known for sex and relationship education on YouTube, Hannah now shares life as a freelance mum, small-business owner, book lover and sustainable-style enthusiast. Her content shows how evolving identity is something to embrace, not hide.

Instagram: @hannahwitton
TikTok: @hannahwitton

Share

Dolly Singh:

Comedian, actor and creator, Dolly brings her signature blend of humour and heart to everything she posts. Her hit Best Worst Date series showcases her talent for sharp, relatable storytelling, while the rest of her feed mixes candid reflections, character sketches and everyday chaos. Unfiltered, funny and full of feeling, Dolly’s content always finds a way to connect.

Instagram: @dollysingh
TikTok: @dollysingh

Victoria Niamh:

Founder of The Glow Up Project, Victoria documents her recovery from anorexia, orthorexia and depression with raw honesty. Her content offers hope, representation and practical support for anyone on a healing journey.

Instagram: @victorianiamh
TikTok: @victorianiamh

Ghenet Randall:

Writer, creator and cozy-life enthusiast, Ghenet brings a warm, grounding presence to every corner of her feed. A New Yorker turned Londoner, she shares slow-living inspiration, nostalgic millennial moments and the joy found in good books, home comforts and freshly baked treats. Her content feels like a deep exhale — gentle, real and rooted in the belief that you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Instagram: @ghenetactually
TikTok: @ghenetactually

Alex Light:

Body-confidence creator, bestselling author and co-host of Should I Delete That?, Alex openly shares her journey recovering from eating disorders and navigating motherhood. Her platform challenges diet culture, encourages self-acceptance and creates a supportive space for anyone unlearning perfection.

Instagram: @alexlight_ldn
TikTok: @alexlight_ldn

Em Clarkson:

Writer, podcaster and advocate for women’s empowerment, wellbeing and online safety, Em brings candid conversations about motherhood, mental health and identity to her community. Her openness has helped redefine what honest influence can look like.

Instagram: @em_clarkson
TikTok: @em_clarkson

Simone Powderly:

Model, self-love advocate and co-founder of a personal-development programme for teenage girls, Simone creates empowering content centred on confidence, healing and community.

Instagram: @simonepowderly
TikTok: @simonepowderly

Hannah Gale:

A future doctor and mum of two, Hannah brings candid reflection to mental health, co-parenting, the realities of medical school and body-image struggles. Her feed represents imperfect resilience and the beauty of showing up as you are.

Instagram: @hannahfgale
TikTok: @hannahfgale

Edith Pritchett:

A cartoonist whose funny, sharply observed illustrations have earned her a loyal following, Edith turns everyday chaos into laugh-out-loud, relatable storytelling. Her work is a reminder that humour is its own kind of honesty.

Instagram: @edithcartoonist

Rina Sawayama:

Artist, model and cultural disruptor, Rina blends activism with creativity — challenging stereotypes around race, gender and sexuality while championing self-expression. Her boundary-breaking honesty makes her a standout disruptor.

Instagram: @rinasonline
TikTok: @rinasonline

Grace Victory:

Influencer, writer and long-standing advocate for body positivity and self-acceptance, Grace shares candid reflections on motherhood, identity and healing. Her content centres truth, vulnerability and the strength found in softness.

Instagram: @gracefvictory
TikTok: @gracefvictory

Hannah Connolly:

Freelance journalist and social-media producer known for her soothing “vibe checks” and grounding weekly notes. Hannah’s content is refreshingly calm, non-consumerist and full of big-sister energy.
Instagram: @han_aux_raisins
TikTok: @hanauchocolat

If you want a laugh, a lesson, to feel seen, or just an internet big sister to guide you through the chaos, then these are the women to follow. They’ll make you think, make you smile, and remind you that your feed can be a place for connection, honesty and community. We’d love to keep adding to this list, so if you spot someone else disrupting your feed in a brilliant way, share them too. Let’s keep disrupting!

Share

“I’ll post a video and people will comment, ‘I wish I had that confidence’,” says 27-year-old actor and content creator Hannah Lowther. “Sometimes I wake up in the morning and do not have that confidence. I’m simply acting. I’m faking it till I make it. And sometimes I think maybe that’s just what everyone’s doing?”

It’s an admission that makes you like Hannah instantly. Online, she looks like the most unflappable woman on the internet, smiling through West End shows, recording cheerful vlogs between curtain calls, and filming viral musical skits that helped catapult her from Tesco’s shop floor to the West End stage. But behind the screen, Hannah’s been working out what it means to be genuine in a social media era that celebrates perfection.

“I try to be careful about what I’m resharing and reposting,” Hannah says. “Because I’m aware of how lucky and privileged I am to be in the position that I am. So yeah, it’s finding a line between toxic positivity and just being genuine.”

Hannah explains that each platform shows a different side of her, saying, “I use the platforms for all different things. YouTube is my least edited version, still edited but the least.” It’s a healthy honesty, not just about bad days but about how selective authenticity can be. “Sometimes people say, ‘You’re so positive all the time,’ and I’m like… if you followed me on YouTube, you’d realise I’m actually not,” she admits.

Her job, on and off stage, is to make confidence look easy. But as Hannah points out, it’s a performance in itself. “On stage and on social media, you’re putting on a version of yourself. How I am online is me, but it’s an extended version of me.”

She laughs remembering one video filmed in New York. “There’s this TikTok of me singing in Times Square… People only see the [final] video. They haven’t seen me beforehand shaking like a leaf, preparing myself to sing really loudly and then running off afterwards because I was so embarrassed,” she says.

Related articles

Even at her most outgoing, Hannah insists she’s not always the extrovert people think. “I’ve always wondered if I’m an introverted extrovert,” she says. “Some days I’m like, maybe I’m not an extrovert at all. Maybe I just need to sit in a dark room and recharge. I mean, no one can be on all the time. Well… maybe JoJo Siwa.”

When Covid lockdown hit, theatres went dark and Hannah assumed her career had too. “I genuinely thought that was it,” she says. “All these people that were already in West End shows had lost their jobs and were in the same position as me so I thought when they reopen the theaters, they’re not going to give jobs to me.”

Hannah’s solution? Reinvent herself. “I paid to do a personal training course because I thought I’d start a new career as a fitness instructor.”

“I also started making TikToks and they were popping off, and I just kind of never got around to completing a single module of the course,” she laughs. “Two years later, I tried to get my money back and they were like, ‘No, it’s been over two years.’ Fair enough.”

Like so many of us during the pandemic, Hannah downloaded TikTok and got creative. “I missed my friends, missed auditions, missed the buzz. I was just bored, quoting musical theatre things in the Tesco stockroom, and thought someone out there must get it.” Her first video hit 10,000 views. “I was like, ‘Oh my God, I’m famous!’,” she says. Before long, one of her clips went properly viral.

@hannahlowther

Hannah Lowther on Instagram: "This is your sign to be ‘cringe’"

Rylan Clark reposted her backstage “Tesco Theatre Tour” video, news outlets picked it up, and Hannah started to see that social media could open real-world doors. “Casting directors weren’t using TikTok at the time,” she says. “So I thought, if it’s on the news, they might actually see it.”

Eventually, they did. A friend introduced Hannah to a producer from Heathers, and she was offered an audition. “It all stemmed from TikTok. I’ll say that with my chest,” she grins. “It started because of TikTok.”

Hannah’s success hasn’t come without backlash. When a clip of her making a small mistake in Six was posted online, it sparked a wave of comments criticising her. “People were saying, ‘This is why you don’t cast TikTokers in shows’. It was literally three seconds of a 90-minute performance!”

She had a panic attack backstage afterwards. “I’d never experienced that feeling before. Luckily, I had a week’s holiday booked, so I just switched off my phone. Best thing I ever did.”

Now, Hannah’s learning to care less, or at least, to care selectively. “I’ve been reading about the Let Them theory,” she says. “If people want to post nasty comments, let them. I can’t change it. All I can control is how I react.”

Still, she admits it’s a work in progress. “Sometimes I’ll look up a video and go straight to the comments. It’s like I’m searching for something bad to read. But I’m getting better. I saw a video of me recently and was like, ‘Nope, not reading the comments’. Who cares?”

Despite the noise, Hannah loves creating content. “I enjoy making people laugh and connecting with people. That’s the performer in me. I love the applause, the attention, the community.”

@hannahlowther

Hannah Lowther on Instagram: "let’s start disrupting our feeds…

She also knows when to tune out. “If I’m not feeling someone, I just mute them,” she says. “We should all use the mute feature more. Sometimes I’m really into gym content, then I go on holiday and I’m like, ‘Absolutely not, I don’t need that right now’.”

Asked what she’d tell young girls online, Hannah’s advice is simple. “Nothing is how it appears to be. You see your favourite influencer looking perfect, but guaranteed their whole day doesn’t look like that. Even those ‘clean girl aesthetic, wake-up-with-me’ videos, they’ve already woken up and pressed record. It’s not real. Don’t compare yourself to that.”

She pauses, then smiles. “Even I do it sometimes. I’ll post a job announcement and say, ‘I’m so excited!’ Maybe I am. Maybe I’m just tired. Either way, it’s okay.”

Share

While menopause isn’t acknowledged enough in mainstream TV and film - thank you Sex And The City, The Change and Riot Women for your contributions! - Small Achievable Goals is a Canadian comedy created by Jennifer Whalen and Meredith MacNeill, who also star in it as the two main characters, with menopause front and centre. And humour is used to tackle the topic we often struggle to find funny. Cue sex shop outings, peri-menopausal horniness, sweaty bras and hot flashes scenes, underpinned by shocking ageism too many women experience in the workplace during midlife.

“I just thought, what if we could make a really joyful comedy about something that people perceived to be negative?” Jennifer has said, having started experiencing menopause symptoms during the pandemic. “We want to make a joyful comedy about menopause because in this time of life we could all use a laugh.”

Julie (played by Jennifer) and Kris (played by Meredith) are two very different women, forced to work together producing a podcast, just as both are beginning to navigate stages of menopause. With 50-year-old seasoned podcast producer Julie realising she’s in menopause just as she’s passed over for promotion at work and 40-something beauty influencer Kris experiencing a random heavy period indicating she’s in perimenopause, it’s a realistic yet hilarious portrayal of how menopause impacts every part of women’s lives.

When going through menopause herself, Jennifer was desperate for an honest depiction in the media and dose of advice. “Honestly, I was like, ‘Where the f*ck is Judy?’” she’s said, referring to the author of 1970’s Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. “I could really use a good old Blume novel about what I’m going through.”

Related articles

The show doesn’t sanitise menopause. It embraces “the messy bits”, including unpredictable bleeding, libido changes, bad moods, feelings of shame, body odour, brain fog, irritability… With over 34 major menopause signs to choose from, there really is a smorgasbord of symptoms for the show to find the funny in. And the creators don’t shy away from the reality of menstrual madness with missed periods, heavier flows, leaking and longer cycles. “We fought hard to put [fake] period blood in the show,” Meredith has said.

Like her character, Meredith’s been experiencing perimenopause in real life and is keen to show the reality for women struggling with menopause symptoms and work.

“There’s studies done that show women start to actually leave their jobs as well because there’s so much shame and they don’t want to talk about it,” she says.

And Meredith has experienced crippling anxiety during perimenopause, another topic tackled by the show. “With anxiety, you tend to attach it to self-worth or your job or a relationship. The gift of menopause is you can say, ‘I can’t attach it to anything.’ It’s just a feeling that you’re having in your body,” she says.

“For those of us going through it, we see you. For everyone else, enjoy the ride!” says Jennifer.

Bravo Jennifer and Meredith on creating a feelgood show that helps millions of menopausal women feel seen!

Season 1 of Small Achievable Goals is available to stream on ITVX and globally on Apple TV.

Share

We’ve all been guilty of doomscrolling and consuming social media content that just isn’t good for our mental wellbeing. The Female Lead’s Editorial Director Caroline Millington, who’s led social media strategy for UK and global brands over a decade, is here to help you steer what you see across platforms, with practical steps and features you should use as part of our Disrupt Your Feed campaign.

Social-media feeds are no longer just “recent posts”, they’re heavily algorithmic. These “recommender systems” use your past behaviour (what you like, comment, pause on) to decide what you’ll see.

That means what you see can drift away from your original intention. For young people especially, exposure to harmful content (self-harm, bullying, intense comparison) is a real risk. The UK regulatory landscape is tightening but YOU can take a lot of control.

With a few straightforward hacks, you can train your feed, set filters and mute accounts that no longer serve you. It takes intentional work, but you’ll get a feed that’s more aligned with your goals.

🧠 How to hack the algorithm

Platforms use past engagement signals (likes, comments, shares, watch-time, whether you click-thru on a post) to guess what you’ll like. They factor in recency, relationships (accounts you interact with), content type (video, image, text) and sometimes device/location/data from other apps.

Because of this feedback loop, if you react even passively - loitering or hate-watching - to content you dislike, the algorithm may serve more of it. That means being mindful and deliberate about what you engage with is key to improving your relationship with social media.

The good news is, platforms are offering user-controls to influence what you see. For example, TikTok now gives you more control over what shows up in your For You feed with the Manage Topics feature.

Our control as consumers and users isn’t perfect but there are ways to influence the content turning up in your feed…

🔧 Practical ‘prune & reset’ steps

Audit who you follow

Unfollow or mute accounts that regularly post content you don’t want to see or find triggering. Even if you won’t block them, muting keeps them out of your feed without them knowing. Keep following “trusted” creators you enjoy. When you engage with them, platforms will suggest similar accounts so you can build your feed and feel good about what you’re seeing.

If you need inspiration, we made a list of role models we think you should follow!

Be selective about engagement
If you like, comment, share a post, you’re signalling “show more like this”. So be selective with who you’re showing love to online. if you don’t want to see a style of post, avoid opening/watching it to the end - the sooner you swipe off, the less likely you’ll be served similar content in the future and over time your feed shifts.

Hide or mark “Not Interested”
Use the “Hide this” and “Not interested” features to train your algorithm to show less of that kind of content. Clear your search history or “explore” interactions if you’ve drifted into unwanted content. This should help your future feed. Most apps have mute, block, hide from feed options – use them.

Set time limits, use “following only” feed if available
Many platforms have both “Suggested/For You” and “Following” views - switch to “Following” where possible. Use built-in screen-time limits or scheduled breaks to avoid algorithm-driven binge loops. Browsers and mobile OS offer app usage time limits and “downtime” features, which complement algorithm control.

Related articles

Reset your recommendation history
Some platforms allow you to clear “suggested content” or reset your feed’s algorithmic memory. Then deliberately engage with the content you do want and suppress the rest.
A “fresh start” can be very helpful if your feed has gone off course and what you’re seeing just doesn’t interest you anymore.

Use filters, keyword-blocks, and content settings
If a topic repeatedly appears that you don’t want, use built-in filtering tools. Some platforms allow “keywords to hide”. You might want to turn on “sensitive content” if you find certain topics triggering too.

Check ad-preferences / data usage
Algorithms don’t only affect content posts, they drive ads too. In your settings you can often influence what ads you see (or don’t) so take a moment to check them. While ad settings won’t eliminate all targeting, user preference options matter.

Avoid the echo-chamber
If you only engage with one kind of content the feed will amplify that. So beware of falling into an echo chamber of similar content which reinforces the same messaging. Instead, encourage variety in your platforms by following diverse accounts, exploring different topics, asking friends to share content from accounts you don’t follow and occasionally “reset” what you engage with.

📱 Platform-specific controls

Here are some of the key features you should know:

Instagram

You can go to Settings → Content Preferences (or What you see) and curate your feed:

Hide suggested posts with specific hashtags/words/emojis.
Choose how much “political content” you want (Less/Standard/More) from suggested posts.
Use ‘Favorites’ list (up to 50 accounts) so their posts appear higher in your feed.
Switch to ‘Following’ feed (only posts from people you follow, no content from ‘suggested’ accounts to follow).
Reset suggested content to rebuild your feed.

TikTok

The platform has rolled out controls such as ‘Manage Topics’ to say how often you want to see them.

‘Smart Keyword Filters’ allow you to block content with specific keywords / related terms you choose. Useful to remove triggers.
On videos you don’t like: tap the video → three dots → “Not interested” → (optionally) “Don’t show this again” to train the algorithm.

Facebook

Settings & privacy → Settings → Preferences → Content preferences allows you to adjust:
What you see in your feed.
Sensitive content controls e.g. “Show less” posts with certain content types.
On any post you don’t like: click the three dots, choose “Not interested” or “Hide” to signal less of that content.

🎯 A quick checklist

• Do a “feed audit” once a month: who you follow, what you engage with. If your feed feels negative, reset and rebuild.

• Consider switching to “Following” feed (only accounts you follow) when you want a clean, safe scroll.

• Don’t rely only on “Hide this” once, if you keep engaging (even accidentally), you’ll keep seeing similar stuff.

• Be mindful of engagement: you’re training your feed with every like/comment/share. If you’re seeing content you don’t want, change your behaviour.

• Unfollow or mute accounts that regularly post undesirable content.

• Consider time limits / usage breaks to avoid algorithm-driven “doom-scrolling”.

And finally…

It takes time to hack your algorithm because it updates gradually. If you’ve previously engaged heavily with a type of content you don’t want, your feed won’t change overnight. Be patient and consistent. You can guide the feed, but you can’t fully dictate it unless you only use “following” only mode. Some suggested content will still appear.

Be aware of “quiet harm”: consuming a high volume of content that’s ok but not beneficial to your wellbeing (constant comparison, minor anxiety triggers) still matters. Control is about not just the obviously harmful, but what drains you.

Keep up with updates: Platforms change their algorithms and settings regularly so keep an eye on available updates and revisit the controls.

Promote good content: Follow accounts you do want, engage, save and share them. This positive reinforcement helps drive your feed in the direction you like.

Balance variety: While controlling your feed, don’t isolate yourself into a narrow bubble of only one kind of content. Follow diverse interests to help your mental health and prevent echo-chamber effects.

Go on, disrupt your feed - the power is in your hands!

Share

If you’ve ever caught yourself wondering why your real life feels flat compared with someone else’s perfectly polished posts or found yourself doomscrolling until well past midnight, you’re far from alone.

And the good news? We’ve teamed up with someone who knows exactly how to help. Dr Radha Modgil, NHS GP, wellbeing expert and familiar voice from the BBC’s daytime show Life Hacks, is joining us for our Disrupt Your Feed campaign, answering real questions from our community on how to build a healthier digital life.

“I get serious FOMO scrolling through other people’s lives. How do I stop comparing myself?”

You might think you’re the only one who spirals into comparison mode, but Radha says this is one of the most common issues she hears. And the problem isn’t you, it’s the performance.

“Social media is basically an illusion… we tend to just share the highlights of our lives rather than our regular day-to-day experience,” she explains. The trick, she says, is to remember that you’re comparing your unfiltered reality to someone else’s heavily curated highlights.

Best of all, she offers a simple reframing: “Change that kind of FOMO into JOMO – the joy of missing out”

Instead of longing for what you’re not doing, come back to what you actually are doing, your real friendships, real routines and real joys.

“Social media feels so fake sometimes. How do I remind myself it’s not real life?”

This one made Radha laugh because, honestly, you’re spot on. “A lot of social media is just the highlights of that kind of shiny appearance that everyone puts on their life… how often have you seen someone posting something difficult or challenging?”

If you’re finding the glossy perfection overwhelming, she recommends grounding yourself in the offline world and rethinking who you follow. Choose creators who share real moments, real challenges and real emotions. “Decide to maybe curate your feed… unfollow people who make you feel that way and start to follow people who are being a bit more authentic” she says.

It’s this spirit of authenticity that inspired us to create our Disrupt Your Feed list. This year, the campaign celebrates creators who are transforming social media into a space for honesty, empowerment, and connection. Each woman on the list embodies our mission in her own way, proving that success, beauty, and fulfilment can come in all shapes and sizes.

@dr_radha

Dr Radha on Instagram: "Lovely morning filming some purposeful …

“I lose hours doomscrolling before bed. How can I break the habit?”

Don’t worry — Radha promises this is not a personal weakness. It’s your brain chemistry. “Every time we get a new bit of information, we get a dopamine hit… even if it’s about something we’re not very happy about” she explains. So you’re not choosing to stay up late reading bad news; your brain is chasing tiny bursts of stimulation.

Her solution is to interrupt the “habit loop”. When you reach for your phone, pause. Replace the urge with something that genuinely soothes you — reading, a shower, an audiobook. And if you really want to take it further? “Why don’t you put that energy into actually trying to solve the problem you’re worried about?” she suggests. A simple but powerful redirect.

“What’s one simple thing I can do to make my feed better for my mental health?”

Radha’s favourite question. And her answer is pure joy: go back to what you loved as a child. “Think about what you used to enjoy when you were growing up… what was it that lit you up?”

Following accounts that spark passion rather than pressure helps shift your feed away from perfection and back towards pleasure. “It will stop being about outcomes and illusion and productivity… and become more about you and your feelings” she says.

“What are your top tips for healthier online habits in 2026?”

Radha has three non-negotiables for the year ahead. First, tune into how you feel before and after scrolling. “If you notice you feel worse, that will hopefully trigger your brain and behaviour to remove yourself from that”

Second, clear out the negative voices and spotlight the positive ones. And third, imagine life without social media. “What would your life be like? That is the life you want to focus on”

Looking ahead: what gives her hope for 2026?

Plenty, as it turns out. What excites Radha most is the way young people are reshaping their digital worlds. “They’re starting to take control… to make that narrative theirs,” she says, describing a shift back to authenticity, community and real-life priorities.

It’s a hopeful note to end on. And if the messages you’ve been sending in are anything to go by, our community is ready for that shift too.

Know Your Own Power by Dr Radha is available to buy now!

Dr Kaitlyn Regehr is an Associate Professor of digital humanities at University College London and one of the UK’s leading voices on online safety and digital literacy. She has advised government on the Online Safety Act, regularly appears across BBC and ITV, and is the bestselling author of Smartphone Nation. Her work centres on helping people understand how algorithms shape our everyday lives – and how we can take back control.

Instead of just focusing on how many hours we spend on our phones, Dr. Kaitlyn urges us to think about what we’re consuming and how it makes us feel.

Just as a balanced food diet is about quality over quantity, Dr. Kaitlyn believes our digital habits should focus less on restriction and more on nourishment. The Female Lead’s Disrupt Your Feed campaign shares this mission too: empowering people to rethink their online environments, challenge what’s being served to them, and choose content that lifts rather than drains.

In her conversation with The Female Lead, Dr. Kaitlyn shared some small, practical changes that anyone can make to take back control of their digital usage. They’re simple, powerful, and designed to slot straight into real life.

1. Do a “walkthrough” with someone you trust

Dr. Kaitlyn first tip is bold: open one of your most-used apps and scroll through it with another person watching.

She admits it can feel “super cringey” because our feeds are so personal, but that’s exactly the point. Another person can spot patterns we’ve normalised.

“If your partner says, ‘You’re getting a lot of ads for plastic surgery’, you might want to think about if that’s the best thing for you to be microdosing on all the time,” she explains

A walkthrough helps you see your feed clearly, understand what it’s feeding you, and decide what needs to change.

Related articles

2. Get intentional and “game your algorithm”

Once you’ve spotted what’s showing up, the next step is to take charge: “Decide what you want more of and what you want less of”.

That means:

• Search for content you want to see

• Scroll past unhelpful posts without engaging

• Don’t comment out of outrage

• Don’t report things unless you have to

• Don’t linger on anything that drags your mood down

The less attention you give something, the faster it disappears from your feed.

Dr. Kaitlyn shares that some parents even go into their teenagers’ accounts at night to boost positive content like science videos. “Though I think we should do this all together as a family,” she laughs.

This is exactly what Disrupt Your Feed encourages: becoming an active participant, not a passive consumer.

3. Do a digital spring clean

Think of this as decluttering your online environment.

“Go on an unfollowing spree,” Dr. Kaitlyn advises. “If something doesn’t serve you, if it doesn’t empower you, if it doesn’t inform you or make you feel good, unfollow.”

She recommends doing this regularly because algorithms constantly shift. One example she gives: “If you already bought a swimsuit for holiday, you don’t need to keep seeing more swimsuits.”

Clear out your apps, clean up your home screen, remove the apps that don’t align with the kind of digital life you want, and make space for what does.

A tidy home screen can become a tiny act of resistance.

Dr. Kaitlyn suggests removing apps that pull you into endless scrolling, or keeping only tools you intentionally want quick access to. It’s a small change, but it creates friction between you and habits that don’t serve you.

This is digital nutrition at its simplest: choosing what you allow into your immediate environment.

4. Switch your phone to greyscale

Her final tip is delightfully low-tech but surprisingly effective.

“You can grayscale your phone, which means it will strip the colour out of it and just be less addictive,” she says.

Dr. Kaitlyn recommends setting your phone to switch on automatically when you connect to your home Wi-Fi. It’s a way of creating space for family, rest, and offline connection without relying on willpower alone.

@thismorning

This Morning on Instagram: "Looking to reduce your screen time?…

“You can carve out times in your life where you ensure that the device is less addictive,” she adds.

Dr. Kaitlyn’s approach lines up perfectly with the ambition behind The Female Lead’s Disrupt Your Feed: empowering people, especially Gens Alpha and Z, to make healthier, more conscious choices online. Her tips aren’t about fear or restriction. They’re about agency.

She encourages us to think of our phones like our fridges: they can nourish us, but only if we fill them with things that support our wellbeing.

And the best part? You don’t need to overhaul your entire life. These small tweaks can start rewriting your digital habits today.

If you want to take the next step, start with the simplest question: What do you want your feed to feed you?

Share

Daisy Morris, author and founder of The Self Hood, has built her career around helping people connect more meaningfully on and offline. At the heart of her philosophy is one clear message: be more social, less media.

She explains that when social media first emerged, we called them networks — connecting with friends, sharing snippets of daily life, staying in touch. But over time, it has shifted towards platforms — spaces where we perform, promote and perfect. “A platform implies a stage — it’s performative. Even when we think we’re being authentic online, there’s still a level of performance.”

The result? A generation of people who appear more connected, yet are lonelier than ever before.

Research from 2023 supports this too, discovering that one in three young people (aged 16–34) in the UK say they feel lonely at least once a week, despite three-quarters saying they have many friends.

Another of Daisy’s observations is about language — specifically, the word “user.” It’s a term we rarely question, but as she points out, it carries heavy connotations. “The only other context we use the word ‘user’ in is addiction — a drug user. That tells you everything you need to know about how these platforms are designed,” she says.

“We blame ourselves for scrolling too much or being distracted,” but as Daisy points out, “it’s not our fault — these systems are deliberately designed to keep us hooked.”

For Daisy, the antidote isn’t to abandon social media entirely but to use it as a bridge to real-life friendship. “Some of the best people I’ve met have been through social media,” she says, “but it’s about turning those digital interactions into something tangible — meeting for coffee, collaborating, creating something together.” It’s a call to move from scrolling to showing up.

That desire to help people take back control inspired her campaign “Check yourself before your notifications,” a reminder to connect with yourself, or with someone in real life, before reaching for your phone. The idea was born during the pandemic when Daisy’s own screen time reached unsustainable levels. She was working late, waking up to notifications, and rarely switching off. “I was so mentally and physically exhausted,” she recalls. “I was connected through screens but completely disconnected in real life.”

Related articles

The mantra is one that people still quote back to her years later and taps into the human need for real contact. “Social media gives us a synthetic connection,” she says. “It feels like we’re engaging, but it’s not the same as genuine human connection. We confuse the dopamine hits for real relationships.”

Daisy’s advice is to make “simple shifts like sleeping with your phone in another room, setting screen-free hours, or meeting someone in person instead of messaging. These can all help to rebuild attention, balance and connection.”

Her ideas also closely align with The Female Lead’s Disrupt Your Feed campaign. Our 2018 research with psychologist Dr Terri Apter found a clear link between the content teenage girls consume and their confidence and mental health. It proved that following authentic, inspiring role models online can boost self-belief and wellbeing.

Building on Daisy’s advice to prioritise real connection over digital interaction, curating your feed can also help make social media a more positive, supportive space — particularly when you follow people who inspire you in ways that translate offline, whether that’s through shared interests, creativity or collaboration.

Ultimately, Daisy’s work isn’t anti-social media, it’s pro-human. Her message is about balance, boundaries and awareness. Connection doesn’t happen on a screen; it’s something we build in person, through shared experiences and honest conversations.

Share

“It was just pink everywhere. There were pink bows, there were pink signs… old men turning up to the game with no hair on their heads, wearing bows around their necks.”

When Wales walked out to face Fiji at the Rugby World Cup in September, more than a thousand supporters showed up wearing pink bows in tribute to Georgia Evans, the Saracens and Wales player who had been trolled for her “Barbie” look only days earlier.

“Everyone came out in their bows. Even when I went back to Saracens after [the World Cup], the stewards still had them in their hair,” Georgia tells The Female Lead.

Not usually emotional about rugby, Georgia admits that day was different. After the match, a fan handed her a bow, and she burst into tears.

“It’s just a pink bow, but it’s so much bigger than that,” she says. “It represents my personality, but for someone else it could mean something completely different. That’s what makes it so special.”

So how did we get here?

Georgia didn’t grow up dreaming of playing in World Cups. Raised in Somerset, there were no girls’ rugby teams nearby. She didn’t play until she was 17. “I just played netball, swimming, I did all the girly things. I moved home at 17 and just went to my local rugby club, and I never looked back,” she says.

Within five years, Georgia had gone from her local side, Yeovil College, to representing her home nation – balancing rugby with a full-time job, before the women’s game turned professional. The pink bows soon followed.

“I actually love the fact that I can have a little bit of my femininity”, she says. “I just love the idea that I can have a little bit of my personality on the pitch with me. Now I won’t wear anything other than pink boots. Everybody just knew me as the one with the bow. I never got any kind of backlash from it before going into the World Cup this summer.”

Everything changed after a press photo from Wales’ match against Canada.

“We just had to throw everything at it. So, I was like, ‘I’m just gonna go crazy today. I’m just gonna put two big pink bows in my hair. Didn’t think anything of it. I’ve done it before. Not an issue.”

It was a must-win game, which Wales lost.

Social media was filled with derogatory remarks mocking her appearance, accusing her of looking ‘like a man in drag’, and telling her to ‘concentrate more on rugby’.

Georgia laughed it off at first, scrolling through the comments with teammates. But the more she saw, the more it sank in.

“It’s not very nice for me, but it’s not about me,” she says. “It’s about some young girl who might see those comments and think she has to change who she is.”

So Georgia posted a response – unapologetic, defiant: “In an old-school man’s game, I’m bringing a bit of Barbie to the party. Don’t worry, I won’t be changing.”

It went viral overnight. Messages flooded in from fans, parents, and players around the world.

“It was surreal. I had magazines that had nothing to do with sports getting in touch, people from completely different communities just wanting to show support,” Georgia says.

Her sister and neighbours had leapt into Facebook arguments defending her before Georgia told them to stop.

Related articles

“I couldn’t let it affect me. I was in the middle of a World Cup. I still had one more game to play,” she says.

That game became something else entirely, with over 1,200 supporters wearing pink bows.

“It was my 12-year-old self’s dream, but also my dream now because I haven’t grown up,” Georgia laughs.

Since then, Georgia has received hundreds of messages from people who saw themselves in her story. Parents have written to say their daughters now run onto the pitch wearing bows in their hair.

One mother said that her teenage daughter, who’d been struggling with her mental health, had found new joy in rugby after seeing Georgia’s post.

“I’ve had girls message me saying they wear glitter now, or different coloured boots,” she says. “It’s not about copying me, it’s about feeling free to be themselves.”

“It’s not about the bow,” Georgia explains. “It’s about being yourself and not changing for anyone. If one person reads it and feels they don’t have to change who they are, that’s enough for me.”

You can see Georgia in action on the pitch playing for Saracens throughout the current season: www.saracens.com

Share

By Caroline Millington, Editorial Director and author

BBC’s recent Girlbands Forever documentary series celebrated British groups in the 90s and noughties, when Girl Power dominated the charts and young women were living the popstar dream.

As a teenager, I was a huge Spice Girls and All Saints fan (and still am!) and went on to interview many members of the girlbands featured in the documentary during my first job as a writer at Smash Hits magazine and throughout my journalistic career. And while there were many highlights - the musical showcases, going backstage on pop tours, fun photoshoots - the physical and mental exhaustion highlighted by the popstar contributors in the documentary is something I saw myself. And it’s clear just how toxic it really was at times behind the scenes.

All Saints, Spice Girls, Eternal, Atomic Kitten, Mis‑Teeq, Sugababes and Little Mix all feature in the three-part series on BBC iPlayer, with contributors from all the bands. But the glaring absence of any mention of Girls Aloud, who won Popstars The Rivals in 2002, was noted by disappointed fans.

Despite the fame and glamour - and in many cases financial success - of being in a girl band, there’s a rawness laid bare in the documentary. And something I witnessed firsthand during my career. From Atomic Kitten’s Jenny Frost breaking down in tears from exhaustion on a photoshoot to promote a single (she stepped away, took some time out in the wardrobe room and we continued with duo shots) to interviewing Spice Girl Mel B on the reality of her life as a popstar mum, it’s refreshing to see these brilliant women reminisce about their time in the charts without rose tinted designer glasses.

Body shaming

“People were always voicing concern about my weight and our weight as a band,” Kéllé Bryan of Eternal says, recalling the diet pressures in the 1990s. “We’re talking about an era where being size zero was popular, women looking like supermodels was important.”

She claims the group were sent away to a place “in the middle of the countryside where they were controlling what we ate. When I look back on it, I think, ‘That was crazy’.”

Intense pressure to lose and maintain a model figure from management was the norm and while social media was yet to exist, fans also had unrealistic expectations of their favourite pop stars. I remember opening the post at Smash Hits and seeing a magazine poster of a female singer - who was no more than a size 8 - with a circle drawn around an inch of her bare stomach and ‘disgusting’ written in angry red pen. It went straight in the bin.

Popstar mums

Some of the most shocking - and heartbreaking - moments of the documentary were the women’s experiences of pregnancy and motherhood.

Melanie Blatt from All Saints describes how she and bandmate Nicole Appleton were both pregnant in 1998, a year after the band’s huge hit Never Ever. “We took pregnancy tests in a hotel room in Canada and spent that whole night discussing bringing our kids up together. It was one of the best nights ever,” she recalls.

While heading to the States on tour, Mel and Nicole were under intense pressure from their record label management to terminate the pregnancies. “We flew to LA and at the airport LAX our manager, he was behind us, was telling us to abort our babies. It’s not really my place to talk about it but unfortunately, it was a very uncomfortable situation because I kept mine and she didn’t. That was a really tricky part of my existence, our existence.” Nicole has previously talked about the experience in her autobiography, Together.

Mental health

For Natasha Hamilton from Atomic Kitten, the pressure to return to work six weeks after having her son via c-section in 2002 was too much. “I remember just screaming in my hotel room, I was so frustrated. It’s not a normal experience… to keep a mother away from a child,” she says. Natasha was eventually diagnosed with post-natal depression and a doctor recommended she take between six months to a year off to recover. Bosses gave her two weeks’ leave. Where was the compassion, understanding and duty of care?

Over a decade later, girlbands were still experiencing mental health issues and unable to take the time off they needed.

“I went through a lot behind the scenes. It has a huge impact on your mental health,’ Perrie Edwards from Little Mix explains in the documentary. With a performance in Las Vegas scheduled in 2017, she hit breaking point. “I was so exhausted. I tried getting out of the trip but then when we got there I started experiencing panic attacks. I didn’t know what was happening at the time - I didn’t know what anxiety was - I ended up in hospital.”

Related articles

Lessons have been learned and mental health is being taken more seriously in both the music and TV industries with artists such as Lady Gaga and Selena Gomez taking time off when needed, although I suspect there is still a long way to go. Little Mix have been open about the effects fame has had on their mental health and when hosting their own music talent show, Little Mix The Search, in 2020, they insisted on aftercare for the contestants to ensure they were fully supported. An improvement from their own time on The X Factor in 2011, with Leigh-Anne Pinnock stating, “There’s a lot more awareness now about mental health. We didn’t have that, really, on the show that we came from.”

The future of girlbands

Girlbands are here to stay. And they’re not purely pop. There’s Haim and Eurovision’s Remember Monday at each end of the spectrum. We’ve even got Girlband!, an alternative rock trio from Nottingham, UK. Meanwhile, South Korea continues to offer the world K-Pop superstars like Katseye, Babymonster, Twice and Blackpink, who I saw in concert this summer, surrounded by dedicated and impressionable Blinks.

However, there is concern that the pressures of girlbands past are still haunting the halls of some record labels. According to the investigative book K-pop, Idols in Wonderland written by journalist Jeon Da-hyeon and published in 2025, one agency official has claimed, “Eight out of ten female trainees stop menstruating”. According to the industry source, extreme diet control is sadly the norm with aspiring popstars undergoing gruelling training with weight a constant obsession .

“The celebrity culture of the Nineties and Noughties was brutal,” Su-Elise Nash from Mis-Teeq said in the BBC documentary.

I hope the future is brighter - and healthier - for the girlbands of today and tomorrow.

Girlbands Forever is available to watch on iPlayer now.

Share

By Caroline Millington, Editorial Director and author

Recently, British Vogue’s article ‘Is Having A Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?’ went viral and was published worldwide across the Conde Nast portfolio in multiple languages, sparking debate globally.

Writer Chante Joseph brilliantly explored why boyfriends are no longer being spotlighted on women’s social media - hard launching new relationships on the grid is quite literally no longer in vogue - and moots the notion that decentering men across social media is now the norm. “Being partnered doesn’t affirm your womanhood anymore; it is no longer considered an achievement and, if anything, it’s become more of a flex to pronounce yourself single. As straight women, we’re confronting something that every other sexuality has had to contend with: a politicisation of our identity,” she states.

So is having a boyfriend embarrassing now? I’d argue no. Finding a loving and healthy partner is something to be proud of, albeit just one of many paths to personal fulfilment.

But the shift in women choosing to define themselves beyond our relationship status means many hetero women are no longer parading the usual couple wins on social media to build kudos and focusing on their personal story telling instead.

Women are now writing their stand-alone narrative with any partner playing a supporting role. And in 2025 it’s clear women have got comfortable - and embraced - being the main character in their own lives.

Writer Sherese (Charlie) Taylor, coined the phrase “decentering men” in her 2019 book of the same name and encourages the art of being selfish. It’s something I wrote about in my book Kindfulness in 2018 with contributor Mary Meadows, Performance Life Coach & NLP practitioner, explaining, “The most important relationship we have in our lives is the one we have with ourselves. This isn’t stuff they teach you at school - yet - and most of our parents only taught us about how to handle relationships with others. I’m yet to meet a woman whose mother taught her how to love themselves first.” Camilla Sacre-Dallerup, life coach, hypnotherapist and best-selling author of Reinvent Me, also wrote in Kindfulness, “I’ve come to prioritize being kind to myself over many things in life, simply because when I take care of myself it improves not just my own life but the people around me too.”

Being selfish is defined as ‘lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure’.

But words and phrases which mean the same as ‘selfish’ include ‘self-loving’ and ‘inward-looking’ which sound pretty good to me. And if women are now decentering men, then we’re evolving to be more self-centred: ‘only interested in yourself and your own activities’ - but also ‘independent of outside force or influence: self-sufficient’.

Share

Self-centred women: independent, self-reliant, self-sustaining.

I believe it is possible to be self-centred - building a life where you put your own oxygen mask on before helping others, to seek validation from within and not others’ opinions, and focus on your own joy while on a mission to make others happy too - without the negative associations, such as being self-absorbed, entitled, and prone to humble brags and projection.

Being self-centred and compassionate towards others are not mutually exclusive.

Related articles

In The Female Lead (Vol II): We Rise By Lifting Others, activist and presenter Katie Piper says, “My belief is that as a woman it’s very important to be independent. I want my girls [daughters] not to have to rely on other people to feel complete – so that anyone who comes into their life is a welcome addition rather than a necessity to complete them.”

A statement I wholly agree with.

Destiny’s Child celebrated independent women back in 1999, but nearly 30 years on it seems society is still adapting to the fact women who don’t put others’ needs, wants and desires - especially male partners - before their own are not selfish.

It’s time to embrace being confidently self-centred, self-sufficient women. Straight women no longer need to be defined by relationships with men - we define our own worth based on career achievements, personal values and character over historical societal expectations. [Spoiler alert: you can be both self-centred and still in a healthy relationship.]

We’re ditching ‘mankeeping’ - the emotional labour women end up doing in heterosexual relationships - and are doubling down on our expectations from a relationship or dipped out of the dating pool entirely to focus on ourselves and female friendships.

It’s time for more women to embrace being self-sufficient. Not to be embarrassed of having a boyfriend but show the boyf as a piece of the jigsaw puzzle of life rather than the whole picture.

And for society to embrace the rise of self-centred women in 2026 and beyond.

Subscribe now

By Louise Butcher, cancer survivor, breast cancer advocate and ‘Topless Runner’

People often say to me, “You’re always running, Louise. How do you fit it into your busy life?” And they’re right. I often wonder the same thing myself. I have two kids, two dogs, a husband, a house, and the usual mountain of domestic chaos: cleaning, washing, finances, the endless school run, and that dreaded airing cupboard full of clean-but-never-ironed clothes. It’s all a bit of a jumble, like me, really. A beautiful mess of ADHD energy and motherhood.

The truth is, I don’t just want to run: I need to. Running isn’t a hobby. It’s medicine. Without it, all hell breaks loose in my head.

Running has kept me alive, quite literally, since my breast cancer diagnosis and double mastectomy, when I chose not to have reconstruction. It’s my therapy, my sanctuary, my rebellion. People call that “dedication,” but I don’t see it that way. I didn’t find motivation. It found me.

Running Toward Myself

When my two children were diagnosed with ADHD, the pieces of my own story finally clicked into place. My lifelong anxiety, my restless energy, my racing thoughts - they weren’t moral failings or a lack of discipline. They were symptoms of a brain that simply worked differently.

For years I’d tried to silence it, through therapy, alcohol, Googling symptoms at 2am and endless worrying. My brain never stopped building worst-case scenarios. The noise was constant. Running was the only thing that quieted it. It wasn’t exercise; it was exorcism.

Then came April 2022: lobular breast cancer. That’s when running became more than coping, it became survival. I had two choices: run, or die. Not just from cancer, but from my thoughts. And honestly? I don’t mean to seem flippant, because cancer is horrendous, but for me, it felt easier to deal with. There were appointments, a plan, an end in sight. My thoughts had no end. Running gave me one.

The Mask We Learn to Wear

ADHD in girls is often invisible. Boys fidget, tap, climb the walls. Girls internalise it. We learn to sit still, to be “good,” to fit in. We kick our legs under the desk where no one can see, and that trapped energy becomes anxiety. By six years old, we’ve already started losing our authentic selves to social expectations.

That’s where I began, and where I lost myself for decades, despite a career in music and then as a teacher. Cancer stripped me of everything, and running helped me find what was left: me. Flat chested, scared, but ready to tackle it all.

Running Topless: My Revolution

After my mastectomy, I made a choice that shocked people: I began running topless. It wasn’t a stunt and was never for attention, despite what the trolls like to think! It was acceptance, a way to reclaim my body without shame, without reconstruction, without apology. It is also far more comfortable for me not to have material rubbing on my scars. Rebellion AND comfort, in MY skin? I barely recognised myself.

For two and a half years now, I’ve run topless. I’ve shared those runs, all 800 of them, on social media, showing my scars, my strength, my freedom. And yes, I’ve opened a can of worms. People don’t quite know what to make of a topless woman running through Devon, smiling, unashamed.

louisebutcher39

A post shared by @louisebutcher39

But that’s exactly the point. By showing my body as it is scarred, strong, free, and a body thriving after being so ill with cancer, I’m challenging that reflection. Every comment, every stare, every judgment adds to the conversation we need to have.

I never set out to be “The Topless Runner.” But I’m proud of what it’s become. In 2024, I became the first woman to run the London Marathon topless, setting a Guinness World Record as the fastest female with a double mastectomy. That record has since been broken and I couldn’t be happier. That’s what progress looks like.

Freedom Against the Wind

Running topless isn’t about exhibition. It’s about freedom. It’s the closest I’ve ever felt to my authentic self, the five-year-old girl who ran wild without fear or shame. When I’m out on the Tarka Trail between Braunton and Fremington, it’s like therapy.

I film my runs, not for vanity but for memory. When I feel low, I watch those videos to remind myself of that energy, that joy. It lives in me when I run, but disappears when I try to fit into society’s moulds.

Related articles

That’s the tragedy, isn’t it? That we have to fight, run, even lose parts of our bodies just to feel free again. What does that say about our world, our expectations, our idea of womanhood?

Putting Myself First

Before cancer, I believed that being a “good” mother meant putting myself last. My kids came first, my husband next, and I came somewhere after the laundry pile. But cancer taught me something profound: if you don’t put yourself first, life will force you to.

Running isn’t selfish. It’s the most selfless thing I do. When I take care of myself - my whole self, body, mind, soul - I become a better mother, wife, friend, and human. My children don’t need a perfect mother. They need a happy, healthy one who shows them what freedom looks like.

Running Through the Storm

Some days I run under sunshine, others through storms, literally. I’ve run 16 miles in the rain, soaked to the skin, feeling electric, alive. I’ve splashed through puddles like a child. Those are the moments that remind me who I am.

People stare when I pass, topless, filming, scarred. I know it looks strange. But change always looks strange at first. That’s how progress begins. Passion drives me forward: through wind, through judgment, through everything. It’s in my veins now.

The Lesson

Three years ago, I was anxious, hypochondriac, terrified of life. I thought my best years were behind me. Then cancer said: Wake up.

And I did.

My youth is now. My beauty is now. My freedom is now.

So, I run: against the wind, against fear, against expectation, against cancer. I run for you. I run, therefore I can.

Subscribe now

Share

Ro Mitchell never set out to be an influencer. She first turned to TikTok during her recovery from an eating disorder, using it as a way to track her progress while sharing her experiences with others. “I didn’t have a goal to start with,” she says. “I just wanted to hold myself accountable and I thought maybe this could help other people.”

What began as personal documentation quickly grew into something bigger. “It was quite vulnerable content,” Ro remembers, “but that got overtaken by knowing it was helping people.” Her openness struck a chord, and soon she had built a following across TikTok, Instagram and YouTube – a community drawn to her honesty and willingness to share the less polished sides of recovery.

But the attention wasn’t all supportive. At one point, the unrelenting negativity almost pushed Ro, now 23, offline for good. “I stopped doing TikTok for nearly a year because I was just getting so many unkind comments,” she says. “Every time I opened my comment section, it was just people being horrible to me.”

It wasn’t one type of cruelty. Strangers picked apart her body. Others, Ro says, “deliberately [tried] to trigger me with comments on my body”. Teenagers told her she was “pathetic”.

The sheer volume of negativity chipped away at her motivation. “At that point I left TikTok. I stopped posting for a year.”

The obvious question is: what brought her back? Part of the answer lies in perspective. “I don’t really feel affected by it anymore,” Ro says of unkind comments, with a strong message to trolls. “That’s clearly something you’re struggling with that you’re taking out on me. I was a lot more vulnerable back then, whereas now I know everyone who posts themselves online gets comments from people that are unhappy.”

The other part is remembering why she started in the first place. Ro’s content has always been designed to make her followers feel less alone. “I just want people to come to my account and leave feeling more understood,” she says. “Knowing that whatever they’re feeling doesn’t make them weird or broken or unfixable.”

Her online presence remains deeply personal – something Ro, who grew up in Hampshire, credits for its impact. But it’s also something she’s had to learn to protect. “Just because someone’s messaged me doesn’t mean I have to respond,” she reflects. “I take a lot of responsibility for all my followers, but if I was talking with every single one of them all the time, I would have no time [for myself].”

She’s also conscious of resisting the trap of performative ‘self-improvement’ content that dominates feeds. “That pressure is so real – when so much content is telling you to be 1% better every day,” she says. “Nothing’s linear and you’re not going to necessarily make improvements every single day.”

romitchell

A post shared by @romitchell

“Just because I share my life doesn’t mean my life has to be glamorous or some amazing improvement journey.”

Her willingness to share the less polished side of recovery is, ironically, what has made her work resonate. Vulnerability may not be algorithm-friendly, but for Ro it’s essential. “TikTok is a very casual platform,” she says. “I quite like that you can go on and be just chilling, and people aren’t going to mind.”

Ro knows first-hand how damaging curated, edited realities can be, especially for young women. If she could change one thing about social media, she says, it would be mandatory transparency about editing: “Even people just blurring a spot on their face can make people think, ‘other people don’t have spots’.”

Related articles

There’s a clear through line to Ro’s approach – an insistence on honesty, not because it’s trendy, but because it’s how she survived the darkest moments of her own recovery. That rawness is what first drew her followers in, and it’s what convinced her to return to TikTok after her year away.

And while she’s wary of claiming a perfect balance, Ro has made peace with the push and pull of online life. “There’s no right way to do life,” she says. “Everyone has a different timeline and what’s right for other people might not be right for you.”

That, ultimately, is the message at the heart of her work. By sharing her own setbacks as openly as her progress, Ro has built a corner of the internet where people can feel less alone. And for someone who almost gave up on social media altogether, that feels like reason enough to stay.

Describing her TikTok as ‘your virtual safe space’, Ro Mitchell has built a following for her gentle, honest take on recovery and self-worth. Beyond her videos, she brings the same message of self-compassion to her book, How To Talk To Yourself.

Subscribe now

Share

British content creator Jemma Bella, making an impact online was never about strategy, polish or perfection. It started with a blog, written when she was navigating the challenges of long Covid and struggling to make her experience understood. What began as an outlet to explain her reality to her boyfriend and family quickly turned into a growing community of people who felt seen through her words.

“I never went on social media to share my entire life,” Jemma tells The Female Lead. “I still keep a lot of my personal stuff private, but I’ve chosen to share the majority of my experiences with chronic illness.” Jemma’s decision to show the sometimes messy, confusing, human side of recovery resonated with people in a way that filtered content never could.

From the classroom to content creation

Before she was a creator, 26-year old Jemma was a teacher. Her time in the classroom with teenagers gave her first-hand experience of how social media shapes young people’s self-esteem and aspirations. “It’s probably the most dominant thing in their lives,” Jemma says. “Their viewpoints and thought processes are so dependent on social media now. As a teacher you can only make a very small drop in the ocean.”

That realisation has made Jemma even more conscious of what she puts online. “I’ve always felt that I have a responsibility,” she says. “Even when I had very few followers, I felt responsible for the lives of the people who were reading my content.” She is deeply aware that her posts don’t exist in a vacuum – they can influence how young people see themselves, what they aspire to, and how they recover from their own struggles.

The power of honesty

Jemma’s strength lies in her refusal to present a glossy version of her life. She is candid about the realities of recovery from long Covid – the good days and the bad – and about the murky line between personal life and work online. “I don’t have a very good work-life balance,” she admits. “I like to work and be busy. I’ve had to set boundaries, like keeping my phone in a different room at night, but it’s still very blurred.”

That vulnerability is what makes Jemma’s content so compelling. She’s not selling a dream – she’s showing real life, complete with challenges and self-doubt. “There’s a huge misconception that if you have 100,000 followers, you’re living this glamorous life,” she says. “Honestly, it’s bullshit. It’s hard work. It’s creative work. And my life is far from perfect.”

The emotional weight of influence

As her health improved and she started sharing more about her recovery, Jemma felt the weight that comes with being part of an online community built around chronic illness. “There’s a lot of sensitivity around recovery, because everyone’s experience is so different,” she explains. “Posting that I’m well can feel insensitive to people who are still suffering. It’s a difficult balance.”

Related articles

Her answer has been to remain transparent and grounded in her own truth. “I can only share my life and my experiences,” she says. “It’s not the whole truth for everyone, but I try to be honest about what I’m going through.”

Advice for young creators

When asked what she wants every teenager to know, Jemma’s message is simple: don’t get lost in endless scrolling. “Create, don’t consume,” she says. “I limit what I take in online because I don’t want to constantly feel like I need to be doing what other people are doing. My focus is on creating.”

She also wants young people to remember that what they see online isn’t reality. “Everything you see [on social media] has something behind it – a thought, an edit, a filter. Nothing’s real,” she says. “The struggles you’re going through are valid, even if they don’t look like what you see on someone else’s page.”

Jemma built her platform and loyal followers by being real, and it’s that authenticity that has made her voice powerful. Her story is a reminder that the strongest connections come from honesty, not perfection.

Subscribe now

Share

By Michelle Curran, former fighter pilot turned author and speaker

As a high-achieving, competitive kid with perfectionist tendencies, I loved being good at things. That drive led me to become a straight-A student, earn a full college scholarship through Air Force ROTC (the US Air Force Reserve Officer Training Corps) and set my sights on the unlikely goal of becoming a fighter pilot. It almost broke me.

I thrived on my accomplishments. But I was also painfully shy and introverted. I struggled to speak up, to take up space, to risk being seen, and yet I wanted more than anything to be the best.

Despite the odds, I entered Air Force pilot training at 22 with one goal: to earn a fighter jet. A few years later, I had done it. Not only did I graduate, I earned my first choice of airframe: the F-16. I was soon stationed in Misawa, Japan, drinking from the proverbial firehose as a young pilot, learning how to operate that jet tactically.

I had achieved my dream. But inside, I was crumbling.

After a mistake in the jet early in that assignment, one that could have had catastrophic consequences, I spiraled into intense self-doubt and imposter syndrome. I had made it through one of the most grueling pipelines in aviation, but no one had prepared me for the invisible battle of belonging.

There’s a natural amount of doubt that comes with being new at something hard. But this wasn’t that. It was deeper. More personal. At the time, only about 2% of fighter pilots were women. Most of the time, I was the only one in the room.

That fact, combined with the work-hard-play-hard culture of combat units, meant I regularly found myself in awkward, and sometimes exhausting, situations.

mace_curran

A post shared by @mace_curran

Someone made an inappropriate joke? Every head turned to me to see how I would react.
I struggled with a skill in the jet? I feared it would create a new stereotype for all women.

The scrutiny felt like lead weight on top of an already crushing learning curve. I call that phase of my career “playing dress-up.” That hypervigilance of self-editing in an environment not built for you.

Related Articles

Eventually, I realized something: not showing up as myself wasn’t helping me belong, it was sabotaging it. In our world, mistakes had consequences. Trust was everything. And you can’t build real trust if you’re pretending.

So I stopped.

I stopped pretending I thought the jokes were funny. I stopped saying I cared about fantasy football. I started being honest, even when it felt risky.

And you know what? I wasn’t pushed out, I was pulled in. My teammates started asking about what I did care about. I began to trust myself. I became a better pilot. And, finally, I belonged, not because I’d blended in, but because I’d shown up.

What did combat flying teach me about confidence and belonging?

1. Stop dressing up and start showing up.
   It feels uncomfortable, but it’s essential if you want to rise to your full potential.

2. Action comes before confidence.
   Make small, bold choices. Every one builds self-trust, and that becomes confidence.

3. Belonging starts with you.
   You can’t expect others to trust someone you’re not willing to be.

Today, I help others flip fear into fuel, not because I’ve mastered it, but because I know the fight is worth it. Whether you’re flying combat jets or speaking up in a meeting, confidence isn’t about having it all together. It’s about being willing to do it anyway.

Share

Subscribe now

Ali Truwit has always been a planner. Type A, organised, someone who likes to know where she’s going. “Growing up in a swimsuit” she swam competitively for Yale and just ten days before her graduation in 2023, she ran a marathon with her mum, Jody Truwit. By 22, she had a five-year plan lined up: two years in consulting, followed by business school, and then a move into the healthcare sector.

But just two days after graduation, things took a devastating turn.

On a celebratory trip to Turks and Caicos, Ali and her best friend, Sophie - captain of the Yale swim team - set out for a day of snorkelling.

“We were in the water, and seemingly out of nowhere, a shark appeared and started attacking us, ramming us and bumping us from underneath with a lot of aggression,” she recalls.

Despite trying to fight back, the shark got hold of Ali’s leg. “Before I knew it, it had bitten my foot off and part of my leg.”

“I was bleeding out. We screamed for help, but no help came. So Sophie and I made the split second decision to swim for our lives to the boat, which was roughly 75 yards away in the open ocean. And the shark was chasing us.”

After being helped back on to the boat, Sophie - who had just graduated from medical school - asked the captain for a tourniquet and tied it around Ali’s leg.

“I think about that moment alot…” Ali says. “She too had just been attacked by a shark and was staring at her best friend bleeding, and she leaps into action. Sophie was a hero. She saved my life.”

After being taken back to shore and transferred to A&E, Ali spent “several long, painful hours in a hospital in Turks and Caicos” before being airlifted to a trauma hospital in Miami for life saving surgery, and a few days later, to New York City for a third surgery.

On her 23rd birthday, doctors amputated Ali’s left leg. She describes this time as being “devastating and so painful and hard… like my entire world had been flipped upside down. I was filled with fear, doubt and worry. It was really easy to feel like I wanted to give up. But at the same time, I looked at that same situation and said, ‘It’s a miracle I’m here. It’s a gift. I have a second chance at life’.”

“What happened to me stinks and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy but within this massively unlucky thing, there were a lot of lucky things,” Ali adds.

Recovery was brutal but Ali was determined to walk again. “I wanted to feel strong again. I wanted to get back to who I was and what I loved,” she says.

That meant facing immediate challenges: getting out of bed and learning to walk with a prosthetic. And she was overwhelmed with questions for her future. Would she ever be an athlete again? What would the rest of her life look like?

“My five-year plan was gone. I knew that pretty quickly,” Ali says.

The toughest hurdle was returning to the water. Ali’s safe space had become a place of fear. “It would just bring back flashbacks of the attack,” she explains. But she refused to let the shark take that from her too. “There are things in my story I’ve lost and I’m never getting them back, and there are things I can reclaim. I started with the water.”

Ali began cautiously with a flotation belt in her backyard pool.

The Paralympics had never been part of her plan, but the idea was planted thanks to a phone call from Noelle Lambert, a US Paralympic track athlete and fellow amputee. Noelle called Ali to “offer any support she could and she said, ‘Consider it’.”

At the time Ali thought the suggestion was “crazy”. But “feeling happy in the water again, the idea kind of started to marinate and it was an exciting thought to say, ‘what if I could pull that off?’”

So she decided to delay her post-grad job and throw everything at training to make the Paralympics.

Within a year of losing her leg, Ali made the US Paralympic Team. In Paris 2024, she won silver medals in both the 400-meter freestyle and the 100-meter backstroke.

“I had to swim roughly the same times that I had swum to get recruited ‘Division one’ with two legs,” Ali explains of her achievements. “I had always respected and admired Paralympians' strength and resilience. But I don't think I understood quite how fast they are.”

alitruwit

A post shared by @alitruwit

Speaking candidly about this time, Ali says, “I feel so grateful for the Paralympic movement because it reminded me of all I still had, all I could still do.”

Ali’s ambitions quickly grew beyond the pursuit of medals. The Paralympics had given her back a sense of strength, but she saw an even bigger purpose for her second chance at life. Shocked by the astronomical costs of prosthetic limbs - which can range from $10,000 to over $100,000 - she launched Stronger Than You Think, a charity dedicated to water safety, expanding Paralympic sport, and providing prosthetics for young women and girls.

strongertyt

A post shared by @strongertyt

“The motivator became: can I show the world what people with disabilities are capable of? Can I increase education, awareness, and fundraise for more young women and girls who need prosthetics?” Ali explains.

Her next challenge? The New York City Marathon - this time on a running blade.

alitruwit

A post shared by @alitruwit

“Ten days before the shark attack, my mum Jody and I had run a marathon together. Now, to run New York this November alongside friends and family, feels full circle.”

Her goal: to raise $100,000 through the race. Training has been punishing - uneven roads, swelling, blisters - but Ali draws strength from her cause, saying, “When it’s mile 20 and it’s painful and hurting for me, I think of all the young girls and women I want to help.”

Related articles

Now aged 25, Ali admits she could never have imagined this journey. “Two years ago, if you had told me I was going to run 18 miles through New York City on a prosthetic blade, I would have never believed you. Every run is a win. Every mile is something I never thought I could do,” she says proudly.

Despite everything she has been through, Ali’s disposition is cheerful and she has the kind of presence that makes people feel stronger just by talking to her. Her outlook on success is just as generous: “Success has always been, and continues to be, about how I can impact the people around me positively.”

It’s hard to argue Ali hasn’t already.

Subscribe now

Share

Today, 51% of women in the UK play video games in some form – a near equal split with men (53%).

Yet a new study published in Sex Roles reveals that many women continue to feel shut out of gaming culture, carrying guilt, secrecy, and shame around a pastime that should be pure play.

The survey of 1,000 women across the UK - all of whom play mobile games* – highlights the paradox at the heart of women’s gaming: women are playing in huge numbers, but they don’t feel they belong.

*Mobile games are the most popular way for women to play.

The guilt factor

Almost a third (29%) of women said they feel guilty about taking time to play games. This guilt wasn’t linked to how much they played - those gaming for hours each day felt it just as strongly - but to cultural expectations. Younger women were particularly affected: those aged 16–24 were three times more likely to feel guilty than women over 54.

Researchers connect this to broader gender inequalities in leisure time. Women consistently have less free time than men, and when they do take it, they’re more likely to feel they should be doing something “productive” instead.

Secret gamers

One in six women admitted they keep their gaming a secret for fear of judgement. Tellingly, women who reported feeling anxious or depressed while scrolling social media were twice as likely to hide their gaming.

Perhaps most surprisingly, women who felt proud of their gaming achievements were more likely to hide it than those who didn’t. Pride, it seems, risks ridicule.

Casual by default

Three-quarters of respondents (74.8%) identified themselves as “casual gamers”, even among women spending five or more hours a day on games. Only 4.7% called themselves “hardcore gamers”. The term “gamer” itself is fraught: almost 60% said they don’t play enough to be one, and a third would be embarrassed to use the label.

This disconnect reflects how women’s play is dismissed. Genres dominated by women – puzzle, word, and logic games – are often devalued as “casual” or unserious. Meanwhile, games marketed to women frequently centre on emotional labour (think caregiving or cooking), reinforcing old stereotypes.

Violence and visibility

Another barrier identified in the study is perception. Women were twice as likely to feel guilty about gaming if they thought games were too violent or if they didn’t know what to play. Despite the diversity of games available – from cosy life sims to story-led adventures – marketing often fails to reach women, leaving them with a narrow view of what gaming can be.

What’s really at stake

The most surprising finding? Feelings of guilt and secrecy didn’t reduce the amount of time women spent playing. Women who felt guilty played just as much as those who didn’t – they just felt worse while doing it. 

This suggests guilt and secrecy aren’t the root problems, but symptoms of exclusion. When women feel they don’t belong in gaming culture, every hour of play comes with an asterisk.

Related articles

Changing the game

The study makes a clear case for structural change: reducing gender inequality in leisure time, diversifying the types of games marketed to women, and normalising pride in women’s gaming achievements.

For the games industry, the business case is obvious – the UK gaming market is worth nearly £8 billion, with women making up half the players. Broadening perceptions of who games are for isn’t just socially overdue, it’s commercially smart.

And for players, there’s a cultural shift to lead. The researchers end on a simple call to action: if you play games, recommend one to a friend. Invite her in. Expand the circle.

Subscribe now

Share